Parents need to be careful what they say to their children, because while they may mean well, criticism about personal interests can be crushing to a child or teen. While parents may think they’re helping steer their children in the right direction, the children might feel like the parents don’t understand them or who they really are, trying to force them to be something they’re not.

In this story, one teenage girl has rediscovered her love of alternative fashion choices, such as dark colored makeup. She has never felt happier and more like her true self, but her dad doesn’t like her style at all. She already knew this, but his words had a greater impact than he probably realizes.

Now, she’s wondering if she’s overreacting or if her feelings are valid. Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AIO for a comment my dad made to me?

I (19f) tried to dress normal because my parents wanted me to especially in college they wanted me to dress normal.

But I really liked vintage fashion but I only did it twice the entire time I’ve been in college and recently I’ve started dressing alternative again like how i used to when I was in elementary school.

I loved to listen to emo bands and rock and metal as a kid and I still did growing up but less because my parents hated it.

And only recently have i started to really get back into my old music and omg has it made me happy.

She feels true to herself for the first time in a long time.

I listened to nothing but rock/metal on the car ride to school and I felt actual joy for the first time in months from music.

I felt a spark in me and immediately like a switch i got back into my old phase and I dressed how I actually wanted to and did my makeup up all black and stuff and I was so happy.

And today we where in the car going to see a family member and I did my makeup dark again like black and red type and my dad looked at me amd said “your doing all dark?”

And I said yea i am.

But her dad’s reaction hurt her.

And he said “you look more pretty when you do your lighter makeup.”

That honestly hurt like hell because ik he is talking about my normal person makeup.

Ik he probably didn’t mean it in a mean way but it still hurt like hell because im finally finding out what I like about myself and this just felt like a kick in the stomach.

Her dad should’ve phrased it differently or kept his thoughts to himself.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a teen who is being called ungrateful because he’s not overjoyed his parents bought him a gift they did not discuss.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This is true.

Another person encourages her to be herself.

Another person was in a similar situation.

But this person doesn’t think the words were too harsh.

She might be sensitive about her look and her style, especially since she’s just recently rediscovered this side of herself again. While she claims she’s happier than ever, if she were so easily offended by her dad’s comment, she might not be totally secure knowing that she’s not dressing “normal.”

That doesn’t mean she needs to change anything. Her dad didn’t even tell her to change anything. He just made it clear that he prefers a different style, which is fine. That’s his opinion.

He probably has no idea how much his words hurt her. It could be good to have a conversation with him about her music choices, her style choices, and why criticizing these things really hurts.