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As a young adult, it can feel difficult to get everything figured out.
You need a job, qualifications, someplace to live – and it can feel like those things are unobtainable at times.
Especially when you have a young family to care for too.
So when the mother of the woman in this story bought a house for her, her husband and her baby to live in, she felt immensely grateful.
Only later did she find out that there were strings attached.
Read on to find out what happened.
Am I overreacting for not allowing family friend to stay over for five nights?
When my now one-year-old child was born, my mom and stepdad helped my husband and I get the house we live in now.
We pay rent to them monthly and take care of the house, watch our utility usage, and do our best to make it look nice to show how grateful we are.
Recently, I (26, female) got a text from my mom telling me to call her when my husband (26, male) got home from work since she wanted to speak to us both.
I missed the original text and responded telling her he’d be back from work that evening and asked if everything was okay. She said “everything is great!” but she would not have this conversation over text, she specifically wanted it over FaceTime.
Let’s see what happened when they finally spoke to her mom.
Fast forward to the evening and we FaceTimed with her and my stepdad. She said that her family friend’s son (23, male) needed a place to stay in our town, just to sleep. He’s in flight school and would be in town for some training.
My husband and I were both thinking “it’ll be a little weird but one night won’t hurt and he’s just sleeping there.” But then she switches to say it would be five nights, and then proceeded to ask, “so any problems with that? Y’all are good with that, right?”
We felt so uncomfortable in the moment and didn’t know what to say as it seemed like this decision was already made, and that since they “own” the house, they offered up our guest room to them.
The other factor is that she specifically wanted this conversation to happen on FaceTime, so that it made it more difficult for us to say “no”.
So of course, they ended up agreeing to her demands.
We said yes under pressure and then immediately regretted it once we got off the phone, as we felt blindsided.
My husband and I also just found out that we’re expecting our second baby, and I have been extremely nauseous and sick. My mom doesn’t know yet, as we haven’t been able to see the doctor to even know how far along I am.
I texted my mom this morning and just informed her that we felt a little blindsided and that the answer was basically made for us and that the guest room was offered up already because they own the house and they can do what they want.
I told her we were not really comfortable hosting for five nights. The guest room is in the middle of our home (think one big square with kitchen, living room, and breakfast table area in the open, with the bedrooms branching off) and it shares a wall with our baby’s room.
But her mom was anything but empathetic in her response.
She responded with, “I’m not having this conversation over text,” saying that we can arrange another call with her, my husband, me, and my stepdad to continue to talk about it.
She also stated that my husband makes me have these “hard” conversations, and that its not fair to me and that she would “never put us in a position that would make us uncomfortable”.
First, it is very clear to me that since she is MY mother, that I would be the one to voice this to her. No issue with communicating with everyone, but since she is my mom, it makes sense for me to reach out. Same would go for my husband and my MIL if this was switched.
I’m more so hurt by the purposely asking over FaceTime so we were pressured to say yes – and that I told her something makes me uncomfortable and she said she would never do that, instead of acknowledging that I just told her that.
AIO for telling her that this makes us uncomfortable to host someone for five nights that we barely know?
This couple are paying rent to her mom and step-dad, making them tenants and the parents the landlords.
Would a landlord whose house was inhabited by strangers suddenly land them with a visiting guest to host for five nights?
No, because that would be weird, unreasonable, and probably in breach of the tenancy agreement too. And this? It’s the same situation. The fact they’re family changes nothing – except her mom’s perceived ability to manipulate her.
Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.
This person was firm that she was under no obligation to provide accommodation for a stranger.
And others explained how her gratitude towards her mom and stepdad was misplaced.
Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged her to assert her rights.
Sure, moving into a house her parents bought must’ve felt at the time like they were doing her a massive favor, but it’s clear that the support wasn’t without conditions.
There are guidelines for landlords and tenants for a reason, and that is in part to prevent each party from being taken advantage of by the other.
And it’s very clear who is being taken advantage of here.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a dad who deleted his son’s YouTube account – and all 20K followers – after finding out he cut school.
