Seeing your family even when you move away is important, but not everyone in a marriage agrees on the frequency or duration.

When a woman who lived states away from her close-knit family asked her husband to stay longer than a few days during their one annual Christmas visit, he declined and called it abnormal.

So when he refused both options she offered to make it work, she found herself heartbroken without an answer on how to proceed.

Keep reading for the full story.

AIO? I want to spend more than 3 or 4 days with my family.

Okay, so maybe I overreacted, but my new husband and I have been married for 4 months and together 6 years.

We usually go to his family’s for Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas.

Lately though, the family has made some new traditions.

This year his mom wanted to establish going to each family’s house every other holiday so she can have her boys together.

That means Thanksgiving with his family this year — which we did — and Christmas with mine.

Their dynamic with both of their respective families has always been quite different.

He never really wants to be at either for more than a couple of days.

He is from Georgia and I am from Michigan. I have a huge family all in Michigan, and his is smaller and spread out in Florida, Georgia, and North Carolina.

She’s starting to feel like she isn’t getting enough time with her family.

The problem is that I am very close to my family and want to stay a week or two, as I have the time off — we teach — and only see them twice a year, maybe three times if I can afford the flights.

We live in Iowa for our jobs, and I even applied to a job I’m waiting to hear back from in Georgia for him.

Her husband’s desire for quick trips is starting to cause some drama for her family.

Last time we went to my family, he said he wanted to go home after a couple of days, so I got a flight and he drove with our dogs. My mom said she thought he didn’t like being there.

I explained he does the same for his family and I just wanted to stay longer.

She tries to help him save face the next time around.

I proposed to do the same this year and he said no — because it would make him look like a jerk.

I really just want to spend more time with my siblings, parents, and nephews. We are all very close, my mom is disabled, and they love having me.

But her husband wasn’t a fan of this at all.

He told me it wasn’t fair because we were only at his family’s for 2 days at Thanksgiving — but this was because of his time off and everyone would leave his brother and sister-in-law’s house early.

We could have stayed one more day without everyone else, but his sister-in-law seemed sick of us — she was cleaning everything and being kind of passive-aggressive.

I honestly wouldn’t mind spending lots of time there if everyone stayed and didn’t mind.

Now it’s starting to cause a serious rift between them.

But now he is all mad and says it’s not normal to want to be home that long as an adult.

It honestly breaks my heart, and I think it will hurt my family too — they’d love if we were there all the time, and only one of them has ever flown.

Nobody can afford it, and my sister is a single mom of two teen boys.

I just don’t know what to do.

Her husband has started to put his foot down.

He won’t accept my proposal to drive the 9 hours and go home at different times again.

Not because he doesn’t want to drive, but because he doesn’t want to stay long and doesn’t want to look like a jerk.

But she’s not getting what she needs out of this arrangement.

But I have tons of friends and family I want to spend time with and can only see once a year.

Am I overthinking? Is it really abnormal to want to spend so much time at home as an adult who gets this month off?

It’s hard to join two separate sets of needs together.

What did Reddit think?

It could just be a difference in personalities.

Compromise is the key here.

Why not just make an excuse to spare feelings?

This user suggests a new idea.

Compromise is the key to any successful marriage, so this couple would be wise to give it a try.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a mom who really thought her ex could handle Easter, but found out the hard way he couldn’t when he ruined the holiday for their child.