Kids pick up new languages much more quickly than adults, and it is really good for them to learn different ones, especially when in a situation where they will be exposed to them regularly.

What would you do if your daughters spoke three languages, but one of them was a lot weaker than the others even though it was what their mother spoke best?

That is the situation for the family in this story, so they sent her to a school in that language to help her out, even though it meant speaking the language of their grandparents even less.

AITA for sending my eldest to a school that is taught in a language she is weak in?

I (39M) am married (38F) and we have two kids (5F and 2F) together.

It is great that she can already speak three languages.

For the first three years of our eldest’s life, her first language was her mother’s native tongue, English 2nd, and my native tongue 3rd. Until her younger sister was born, where I ended up being a primary caretaker of our oldest.

Ever since our youngest daughter was born, our oldest started to pick up my native tongue due to kids from neighbors and from my parents who live close by.

Kids are so good at learning new languages.

I usually talk to her in a mixture of English and my native tongue. At the same time, she is losing her mother’s native tongue.

We tried retaining that language for her by having a mother-daughter weekend dates and setting limits on TV shows she can watch.

This seems like a great idea.

She can only watch shows that are in her mother’s language or English. Since we live in a city where 80% of the population are native speakers of my language, it is easier for our kids to pick up that language.

As of now, our eldest speaks my language the best, with English 2nd from daycare and her mother’s native tongue being weak. She could only speak her mother’s language after watching a TV show in that language for limited time.

They are all doing very well.

Our youngest speaks her mother’s native the best, with my native tongue on par from playing with other kids and English from daycare.

Because their mother barely speaks my native language (still learning, but slowly), I established a rule for my eldest to not speak my language at home. Only English and her mother’s native tongue.

This would be difficult, but rewarding.

She could only speak my native tongue outside home. We also sent the eldest to an international school where English and her mother’s language are the main instruction.

I might be the AH because we live in the US, and my native tongue is the 2nd most spoken language here.

The kids can all speak each language well enough to get by.

Neighbors and some relatives said, I am not considering my parents since they do not speak English even after living in the US for over 40+ years.

Forbidding my daughter from speaking my language might strain her relationship with her grandparents.

AITA?

Only if there is no exception to the rule for speaking to the grandparents. They aren’t likely to learn a new language, and encouraging a good relationship with them is important.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

Forbidding a language can be damaging according to this commenter.

This is really good information.

This commenter says there are no wrong answers.

Here is a unique idea from this commenter.

This person thinks it might be harmful.

Kids are so good at learning language there is likely no wrong answer here.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a boy struggling to talk to his parents how growing up with a disabled sibling has made him feel.