In families where there are multiple children, it is not uncommon for parents to ask an older sibling to help watch the younger ones from time to time. Unfortunately, some parents can really take this too far and turn the older child into something of a parent themselves.

What would you do if your parents made you basically raise your younger siblings, and now that you are an adult, you find out that they are doing it again to one of the middle children?

That is what is happening to the young woman in this story, and she wants to stop it from happening. She isn’t sure if she should confront her parents, or even contact child protective services, but she knows she needs to do something.

WIBTA for calling my parents out on their poor parenting and possibly getting authorities involved?

I’m 24 & was born female. I have five full younger siblings ranging in age from 1-20. The ages in my parents’ house now range from 1-16.

Older siblings often have to help out around the house, especially with taking care of the younger kids. This is fine sometimes, but it can go to far.

Since I was 12, I’ve been helping out with the younger kids. This was the year my sister was born, & I was excited to have a sister & wanted to help out with her as much as I could.

That was fine, I chose that. But this chosen responsibility turned into a forced responsibility as we grew older. I was frequently left home with the kids, almost daily. I would sometimes still be watching the kids even when they were home.

Let’s see what is going on now and why she thinks she needs to take such drastic actions.

Here’s the problem I’m facing today:

My sister (12) called me just to chat, & I heard our youngest brother (1) yelling in the background. I asked if it was 1 or 5 yelling, & 12 said it was 1. I asked where 5 was, & she said that he wasn’t home. I asked who was at home. It was just her & 1.

So, it seems that the parents are starting the cycle over with having this younger sister watch her little siblings.

She & our youngest brother had been home alone since 4:30, & the time she called me was 8:30. It turns out, 16 had a baseball game our parents & 5 went. They left 12 to watch 1 while they attended two games. They told 12 that this was because “they didn’t want to chase 1.”

After the game, I called 16 to confirm. He said that our parents leave 12 with 1 often, & sometimes make her stay home from games even when she wants to go, to watch 1. He also said that sometimes they leave her alone with both 1 & 5 at the same time.

It does indeed seem like the parents are overly relying on siblings to do the actual parent, and this is sad. I’m not sure that it is illegal though.

I genuinely thought my parents improved after I left home. I hoped that my sister wasn’t going to have to go through the same thing I had to, but she is.

She’s only 12 yet she’s having to help raise her younger siblings & I fear she’s going to grow to resent our parents just like I have.

If she wants to confront her parents, she should at least start off by doing it in a friendly manner, not confrontational.

I don’t know what to do. I want to call my parents & confront them, but that will lead to my sister getting in trouble because they’re going to assume she called me to complain (which was not the case at all).

16 said if get into an argument, then it’ll just give our parents “something to talk about.” My fiancé suggest I call in a wellness check to the house, or even get child protective services involved. But I’d feel terrible going that far, though I am thinking about it.

There are ways to confront the parents without bringing the younger siblings into it. Just talk to them about how hard it was on her without even bringing it up that they are doing the same thing to 12. When it comes to calling the authorities, however, that is unnecessary.

WIBTA for confronting my parents? WIBTA for getting authorities involved?

Does this case warrant contacting authorities, or are their parenting choices harmless? What would you do & do you have similar stories? I’m just so angry at my parents & angry for my siblings.

AITA?

It is great that she is so concerned for her younger sibling, and she has every reason to be upset. The police or protective services won’t be able to do anything here, and calling them will just cause more problems. Finding a way to confront her parents and hopefully show them that they are hurting the kids could be effective, though.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a teen who has spent a decade raising her younger siblings, and thinks it’s time to walk away from her family for good.

Read on to see what advice the people in the comments have for her and see what you think.

I agree with this commenter. Going to the authorities is not appropriate for this situation.

This type of parentification of a child can cause real resentment. This commenter says she should confront them, but not go to the authorities.

The parents aren’t great, but they don’t seem to be abusive according to this commenter.

This commenter says that she needs to know all the details before taking action, but she should do what she can to help.

Parentification can be a big problem, but there isn’t always a lot that can be done to stop it.

She has every reason to be concerned, but calling the authorities isn’t a good idea. Instead, she needs to find a way to show her parents that they are causing real harm to the siblings. Even offering to step in and babysit from time to time could make things easier on everyone.