Imagine planning a wedding, but you want to limit the guest list to 150 people who you and your soon-to-be spouse actually know and care about. What would you do if your stepmom handed you a guest list with dozens of people on it that you don’t even know? Would you invite them anyway or refuse to humor her?

In this story, one bride-to-be is in this exact situation. Instead of looking forward to her wedding day, she’s left grieving the fact that her dad may not even show up to walk her down the aisle, all because she doesn’t want strangers at her wedding.

It’s a lot of drama, and she’s not sure she handled it the right way. Weddings are stressful enough without a stepmom adding an extra layer of stress.

Did she handle it the right way, or should she back down or at least compromise? Keep reading to see what you think you would do in her situation.

How My Stepmom’s Wedding Demands Led to My Dad Potentially Skipping My Big Day – Am I in the Wrong?

So for a little backstory, my dad, Tim (M52), met my stepmom, Rene (F61), when I was 4, and they married when I was 9.

I don’t like Rene—she’s controlling and has anger issues.

She’s had physical altercations with my mom, aunt, and even my little sister on my moms side.

To keep peace with my dad, I try to be cordial, although Rene doesn’t get along with my family.

The real story is about an upcoming wedding.

Now onto the situation.

My fiancé (M24) and I (F24) are getting married in a month, and my mom (F43) has been helping me with all the planning.

Both my mom and dad offered to help financially, but we’re also paying for most of it ourselves (This is important later).

We set our guest list at 200, which was already over our preferred limit of 150 due to our large families.

The guest list was about to get even longer.

Rene sent me a list of people she insisted we invite, which would have brought the count over 250.

I told her we’d consider her suggestions but had final say.

She included people I barely know—like a distant cousin and her father, whom I haven’t seen or spoken to in years.

We left them off the list because my fiancé and I want to be surrounded by people who matter to us on our special day.

Rene was furious!

I didn’t immediately inform Rene of our decision.

A couple of months ago, my sister, Brook (F22), who is my maid of honor, was helping with the invites and reached out to Rene for addresses.

Rene noticed the omissions and blew up—calling me, my sister, and my fiancé awful names, accusing us of disrespecting her.

She said she and her family would no longer attend the wedding and claimed I only included her for my dad’s money, which is untrue since I never asked for their financial help.

She stood her ground.

I responded by saying I wouldn’t tolerate her disrespect towards my sister, fiancé or myself, that our wedding day wasn’t about her, and that if she had anything further to say, she could go through my mom, as I would be blocking her number.

I then removed her entire list from the guest list, bringing us back to under 150 guests as we originally wanted.

My dad called my mom, saying he agreed with Rene and that I owed her an apology.

Ouch!

When I refused, he said he wasn’t sure if he would attend the wedding or walk me down the aisle.

This hurt me deeply, especially as I’m his youngest and the only one of his children who invited him to their wedding.

For the past two months, my dad has been radio silent, even though we’ve seen each other at church and family gatherings.

He had a request.

This past Sunday, he called asking if we could talk alone.

I told him I’d think about it and later sent a text saying I didn’t feel comfortable meeting one-on-one, and that I’d prefer to have my mom present as a mediator.

He hasn’t responded, though I know he saw the message.

She feels so sad and guilty.

At this point, I think that I was holding out hope that he would still come to my wedding but I am just setting myself up to get hurt when he doesn’t come.

I also feel guilty about how this might affect his relationship with the rest of the family.

I don’t know if I handled things the right way, especially by refusing to meet him alone. I just don’t want to be guilt-tripped into bending my boundaries again, and my mom has always had my best interests at heart.

I don’t know what my next steps should be or if I should just start grieving the relationship I had with my dad.

This poor bride!

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This is a good idea.

Another person is on OP’s side.

She should’ve picked a different mediator.

Here’s a vote for a therapist.

All weddings involve some drama, but this wedding certainly has a lot of drama. Honestly, I think the wedding will be likely to be more enjoyable without her stepmom there. It’s too bad that probably means that her dad won’t be there either and won’t get to walk her down the aisle, but that’s his choice.

I like the suggestion to find a mediator that’s not her mother, such as a therapist. Her dad might be willing to talk with a mediator if it’s not his ex wife. If she really wants her dad at her wedding so that he can walk her down the aisle, that’s probably the best solution.

Otherwise, she needs to resign herself to a forever changed relationship with her dad. However, that doesn’t mean she did anything wrong. It’s her stepmom that created the problem here. She was pretty entitled to thing she could invite whoever she wanted to her stepdaughter’s wedding. What nerve!

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a teen who has spent a decade raising her younger siblings, and thinks it’s time to walk away from her family for good.