Everyone wants the best for their kids, but depending on where you live in the world and how you were brought up, that ‘best’ may look very different to you. Some cultures prize education above everything, pushing their children to excel academically (and in extra-curricular pursuits) in order to put them in the best possible position as they move into their adult lives. Other cultures value play, strong morals, and social time in order to shape good citizens that (hopefully) live their lives with positive mental health.

While some cultures encourage – or expect – children to get jobs at a young age, others push this adult activity firmly into adulthood, expecting children to behave like children first and adults later. However, even in cultures in which free time is valued, there may come a time in which a teenager wants or needs to get a job to support themselves or their families in a tricky financial situation – and in almost all cultures, positions that are suitable for a kid to work around their schooling do exist, with waiting tables in evenings and weekends, working as a lifeguard at a pool, or even stacking shelves in a supermarket popular options.

But when two cultures collide, this can make this avenue of parenting quite difficult – and in this story, that is absolutely the case. Because while the father thinks his daughter’s health, safety and wellbeing is paramount, the mother’s culture believes that teenagers working is a rite of passage – and she’s so firm on this that she has found her daughter a place to work. The father, however, is horrified when he learns of the place she’s picked.

Read on to find out why.

AITA for not wanting my daughter to work in a place like this?

My wife has been fixated lately on our sixteen-year-old daughter finding a job.

Honestly, I don’t quite understand it.

I think it’s a cultural difference. In my country, you won’t see 16-year-olds behind the cash register, in restaurants, or even walking dogs for money – the law only allows things like selling small items online, helping out with family matters, or volunteering for free.

In my wife’s country, it’s the opposite.

Let’s see how this conflict is affecting them.

We’ve talked about this many times over the past year, but she still doesn’t seem to fully understand it and has been looking for a way around it. And finally, she found something.

My elderly uncle has a summer house, a five-hour drive away. He said he could pay our daughter if she goes there on weekends, feeds the resident dog and does some cleaning. She would do this all summer long.

My wife thinks it’s an absolutely brilliant, perfect idea, and that I’ve seen too many horror movies.

But I see a ton of problems with it.

Read on to find out the problems that this father foresees.

Apart from the transport (my uncle is willing to pay for it) and her schooling, we’ve been there several times and I can safely say I wouldn’t want to leave my daughter there alone.

During our visits, there were frequent power and water problems, and to fix the water problems, we had to walk some distance through the woods to a smaller cabin.

The cabin in question belongs to my uncle, is unsecured, constantly open, with no doors.

The reviews for this place are, to put it mildly, bad.

Let’s see what the issues with the cabin were.

Even in the summer, people complain of thefts, strangers wandering near their homes, looking through the windows and numerous attempted burglaries. Five years ago, there was also a kidnapping case.

I checked the nearest hospitals, gas stations, shops, etc., but everything sounds awfully far away, especially for a teenager without a car.

So now we have three vs one at home – my daughter is in and wants to work there, we also have a son (11) who, in turn, likes not having his sister at home and having the consoles all just for him. My parents also think it’s a great idea.

AITA?

It’s clear that these parents have a difference of opinion, and this is quite normal on a cultural level.

He is concerned for his daughter’s safety, and that is a legitimate fear.

Sure he doesn’t want his daughter to have a job – but this particular job is clearly a step too far. Perhaps something safer would be preferable?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who restored a vintage camera with her own money and doesn’t want to hand it over to family.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person encouraged him to stand firm.

While others thought that while a job might not be a bad idea, this job in particular most certainly was.

Meanwhile, this Redditor came up with different ideas for how to teach the kids, whilst keeping them safe.

If the kids don’t have to work – money isn’t an issue and culturally this isn’t expected – then they should be allowed to enjoy their childhoods for as long as possible. Study after study has shown the benefits of rest and play in childhood, and the longer this can last the better. Because as soon as a child is having to take on adult responsibilities, that has an effect on their brain – and while some of the life skills they could learn are important, so is being allowed to be a kid for as long as possible.

After all, at sixteen a child still has exams and can be working towards their future in other ways. Unless absolutely necessary, a job can surely wait?

If the daughter is to get a job, one thing is clear: it should absolutely not be this job. She’ll be mostly alone in a remote place with no vehicular access – and it’s a place with a reputation for shady characters in a desolate place? Absolutely not. Everything might go without a hitch, but the risk really isn’t worth it. No child should be put in that situation.