When you are planning your wedding, it is always exciting to pick out your wedding party and make sure that those who are closest to you are there for your big day.

What would you do if two of your best friends said they would be in your wedding, but then they both dropped out with just a few months notice?

That is what happened to the woman in this story, and she was very hurt that they couldn’t make it to her wedding. Then, one of those friends told her that she was mean for not asking if she was ok after she dropped out. At this point, she isn’t sure if she is still friends with them at all.

AITA for not checking on my friend after she dropped out of my wedding party?

I was very excited to ask 2 of my girls who I see the most to be in my wedding party. Let’s call them (Lisa & Shelley).

It would be disappointing that she won’t be there, but it happens. That is completely understandable.

They both said yes and it was great. But 3 months in (4 months before the wedding), Lisa said she couldn’t afford it and was dropping out. I said it was alright but I was a bit hurt.

I had so far asked them to buy a dress that was around $100-$120, and had paid for drinks and food at the one meeting we’ve had.

You never know what type of financial position people are in. It isn’t fair to judge them because they don’t have the same money priorities as you.

Lisa (& her bf) both work and make decent money, and pay low rent since I rented them a suite as I manage a building so I was confused that they couldn’t afford it.

Shelley isn’t working MUCH so I said I could help her pay for her dress if it would help.

Is it normal for the bridal party to have to buy a dress? It seems like it would be, but traditions change.

After Lisa dropped out I asked Shelley if she was still ok doing it. Her & Lisa are very close also so I just wanted to be sure. She said she did and that was great.

That same night on our group chat with the other 4 girls in the wedding party, Shelley started texting that it was crazy I expected them to pay $100 for a dress to be in the wedding and dropped out on the chat.

If they had a problem with her, or anything else, they should have talked to her. They are close enough to be asked to be in the wedding party, but they won’t just come out and say what their problem is?

I was really hurt and felt confused why 2 of my closest friends who I have ALWAYS been there for, wouldn’t step up to be a part of my wedding when I would do ANYTHING to be in theirs if they asked.

As my wedding isn’t far I needed to replace one of them soon and knew the perfect girl to do it, so I asked her the next day so she could have time to prepare etc.

At least this person wants to be in the wedding.

She was SO happy, and said she’d be honored. I had wanted to ask her but we already had 6 people each, so I was happy that I got a chance to after what had happened. It honestly made the hurt of my 2 “besties” dropping out a bit less.

I didn’t need to replace Lisa because her bf was in the wedding party too so they just both dropped out.

It seems crazy that Shelley expects the bride to be to be focused on her at this time.

After about a week of nothing from Shelley I get a text message saying how awful it is that I didn’t check on her to see how she was doing or to make sure she didn’t want to do it before I replaced her.

I am absolutely FLOORED that she is angry with me about this!

Surely, there must be something else going on here.

She has since sent me messages saying how hurt she is and that she doesn’t know me anymore and has started saying BAD things about my fiancé to people they both know.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who was stunned when her friends finally admitted the reason for their falling out.

I don’t even know if there is a friendship to salvage after this.

Going only off of what is written here, it doesn’t seem like this person did anything wrong.

Am I the worst friend ever? Or is it normal that I’m thinking maybe she never was my friend?

AITA?

Honestly, I can’t figure out why her two friends both wanted to drop out. If it really was because of the money for the dresses, they should have just said something about it and tried to work it out. Unfortunately, many people are just terrible communicators, and that certainly seems to be the case here.

Let’s take a look and see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

I was confused about what she was supposed to check on as well. These aren’t good friends.

Time to raise her rent and cut these two ‘friends’ out of her life according to this commenter.

It is very possible that Lisa is just using her for the cheap rent. It is sad, but people will do this type of thing.

Sadly, this person is almost certainly right. They aren’t good friends and there isn’t much that can be done about it.

I’m just as confused as this commenter. Why are they so upset about a very reasonable dress.

These two ladies are not real friends at all. If they were, they would have talked to her about any issues they were having. Unfortunately, it seems that they are just using her at this point. She should cut them off an move on with her life.