Most people don’t realize how much their offhand comments reveal about how they actually see the world.

A full-time wheelchair user found that out the hard way during what started as a deep, honest conversation with her best friend. Her friend didn’t mean to be cruel, but she made it pretty clear that she saw disability as a life essentially over — while sitting across from someone living that exact life.

Later, through text, woman tried to push back, offered perspective, and explained how much your outlook changes when you actually go through something like this.

Her friend wasn’t interested in hearing any of it. So when she left the messages on read, the silence said everything.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for getting irritated at my friend for saying her life would be over if she became disabled?

I was born with cerebral palsy, and I’m a full-time wheelchair user.

I was having a conversation with my best friend about it, since we often have deep conversations about subjects like that.

Then her friend said something pretty hurtful.

She went on to say that if she became disabled, her life would be practically over, as she couldn’t do the things she does now.

Well, on one hand, I get it.

She’s a dancer, she loves to draw, and if she had an accident that affected her motor skills, then yes, it would be more of a challenge.

But she feels like her friend’s comment was still offensive to people who already have disabilities.

I went on to say that I get where she’s coming from, but there are adaptations that can help us achieve what we want, and she wasn’t hearing any of it.

I also tried to explain how perspective changes when you go through something like this, so she wouldn’t think as she does now.

I think the reason why I got irritated was that she knows I’m disabled.

She feels like her friend somehow thinks less of her now.

She knows I’m working really hard to get my degree and achieve as much as I can given my circumstances, but to her, it’s worthless because my life should be over.

I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it, but it just felt like if she doesn’t see the value of continuing to do things despite disability, she doesn’t see the value in what I’m doing right now.

She left my messages on seen, so I think she sensed the irritation that I was feeling.

And now I feel horrible — AITA for feeling irritated?

When your friend says something hurtful, it’s only natural to feel stung.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who was totally humiliated when he learned the real reason his friends had ditched him.

What did Reddit have to say?

It’s possible she’s reading a bit too much into what her friend is saying.

At the end of the day, what her friend said was factually true.

Maybe bad communication is to blame.

This commenter also sees both sides.

Redditors made some good points here. When you have a personal stake in something like a disability, it can be hard to interpret other people’s words objectively — especially the people close to you.

While what her best friend said was essentially true, she still needs to know her audience. And at that time, at that moment, this just wasn’t the right audience.

Clearly these two friends have a lot of work to do when it comes to communication. Her friend can start with not leaving her texts on read.