A college education is very expensive, and many students go in debt in order to pay for their education. Students whose parents can afford to pay for them to go to college are truly lucky and should feel blessed.

Imagine giving up a baby for adoption. Would you end your responsibilities to the baby forever, or would you want to save for their future?

In this story, one young woman had a very traumatic experience that led to her pregnancy at a young age. She ended up giving the baby up for adoption to a family friend, but instead of turning her back on her biological child, she set money aside to pay for college.

Now, her boyfriend has a different suggestion about how to spend the money, but she disagrees. Who has the right idea here?

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

Aita for refusing to split the money I’ve been saving up for my daughter with my bf’s kid?

When i was 12 i was SA’d and as a result to that i got pregnant. Because i had irregular periods I didn’t know until the second trimester when i gained weight.

It was very traumatic. I still have PTSD from the SA as well as having to carry that monster’s baby.

After I gave birth it was worse. I would have panic attacks every time i saw the baby.

After i attempted to take my life for the 4th time my parents decided it would be best if the baby would be put up for adoption.

It wasn’t hard to find someone to adopt the baby.

A friend of my mom’s who had many failed attempts to get pregnant offered to adopt my daughter.

My mom wasn’t very happy with the idea because they are very close and that would mean i would still have contact with my daughter but i rather rarely see her than have her in the foster system.

I’ve been going to therapy ever since the SA and it has helped a lot.

Circumstances have changed.

A couple of few years ago my mom’s friend got diagnosed with cancer and it’s not looking good.

The medical bills have also drained their finances.

Since the diagnosis I’ve been saving up money for when my daughter would go to college.

I had dinner at my parent’s and mom’s friend was there. I overheard her venting to my mom that she was worried for their finances especially that they wouldn’t afford to send her to college in 6 years so i told them that I’ve been saving up money for that.

Her boyfriend had a different suggestion.

When we left bf asked me how much I’ve saved up. I told him.

He said that the money should be split with his daughter (3). His arguments were that

1. We shouldn’t make any difference between the kids.

2. She isn’t even really my daughter, just biologically. I didn’t raise her and when she was adopted my responsibilities to her ended. While his daughter is like my stepdaughter so i do have a responsibility to her.

She doesn’t agree.

I said that’s a weird thinking.

I am grateful to them for adopting my daughter. They gave her a great home. While i don’t have any maternal feelings towards her i wouldn’t have wished for her to grow up in the foster system witch is horrible or be adopted in a family that would treat her bad.

Helping with money is ig a way of thanking them.

And t’s not really my problem that him and his ex haven’t started saving. They have 15 years to save up a fund for her. And I really don’t think it’s fair to ask me for half the money I’ve been saving since before i even met him.

She thinks her boyfriend’s argument isn’t valid.

His argument was that his ex can’t hold a job and he’s got other expenses and CS which makes it hard for him to save.

But he is living above his means. He prioritizes fun over necessities. He eats out at least 3 times a week, regularly goes to the Cinema, lives on take out because “cooking takes to long” etc.

Also CS makes no sense because she lives with him 5 days a week and his ex has her on weekends but he’s doesn’t want to go to count and have CS canceled because he “doesn’t think they would side with him”.

I don’t know if it’s relevant but we’ve been tgt for a year and 3 months. I’m 25 and bf is 26.

Aita?

Why is she with this guy? She saves money. He blows money and expects to use her savings. She should end the relationship and find someone who isn’t a mooch.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride whose sweet tribute to her biological family was foiled by her jealous adoptive mother.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

Here’s a warning about the boyfriend.

Another person sees a big red flag.

Here’s another red flag warning.

Everyone thinks she needs to ditch her boyfriend.

Her pregnancy was traumatic. Her college savings fund is admirable. Her boyfriend is the scum of the earth.

In an update on this story, OP shared that she has broken up with her boyfriend! Let’s all breathe a collective sigh of relief for that! If she stayed with him, he would just look for more ways to take her money while spending his earnings on frivolous things like takeout.

She deserves so much better.