Destination weddings are expensive, so it’s no surprise that they can put a lot of pressure on friendships.

What would you do if a friend expected you to spend thousands of dollars and all of your PTO to attend their wedding, but then implied your friendship might not survive if you said no? Would you make it a point to go? Or would it leave you questioning the entire friendship?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this predicament and is considering the latter. Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTA for no longer wanting to go to my friend’s wedding because of what she said?

So I (26F) have this friend (25F) who’s planning to have an (arranged) wedding in India in 10 months. I would have to travel from Canada, but I was considering making it work.

There’s already been some stuff that’s made me not like her very much. For example, she talks to me in a condescending way, and she can be controlling toward me.

My partner also despises her, but I’ve been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Her recent comments have become too much.

Recently, though, she said something that made me rethink whether I really value our friendship and want to spend all my PTO and money on this event.

She said, “Our friendship depends on you coming to my wedding.”

I just feel like for something this big, it shouldn’t be an ultimatum, and she should at least offer to pay for my trip.

I’m also planning to buy a condo with my partner for the first time at the end of the year, and another thing she said was, “You better not buy a place during my wedding.”

She could make it work, but doesn’t know if it’s worth it.

I could probably make it work, I guess, but these statements have made me feel like she’s not worth it. Would it be spiteful to decide not to go because of this?

We’re kind of a friendship trio at the moment, and my other friend, who’s also getting married next year and is in school, has mentioned it might be hard for her to go.

I asked about all our other friends and their attendance, and she’s putting zero pressure on this friend and the others who are in school. I also study on top of working full-time.

Also, it’s not a cheap wedding to attend.

Even then, the event is on the other side of the world, and it costs $1,500-$2,000 for just the flight.

And it requires me to use all of my vacation time.

I don’t feel like it’s fair to put that kind of pressure on your friend. She’s putting this pressure on me but not on others  and I’m feeling like attending her wedding is not worth it.

AITA?

Wow! This friendship sounds very one-sided.

Let’s see what advice the readers over at Reddit have to offer her.

Here’s what this person would say.

As this comment points out, the woman did this to herself.

This reader keeps it simple and says don’t go.

Here’s an interesting point.

It’s time to walk away. Her friend sounds terrible, and it would be better to save her money and PTO.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride who was shocked to find her mother’s reception seat taken by a stranger who refused to move.