Being a teenager is already a full-time job, so being voluntold to serve as a role model for your brother’s high-needs friend on top of that is just too much.

A teen whose younger brother regularly had a neurodivergent friend over found the visits so draining that she started making plans every time she heard one was coming.

Her mom noticed, but soon started forcing her to stay home and “be a positive role model.”

So when the teen refused, it sparked some major family drama.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for refusing to be home when my brothers friend is?

I am a 16-year-old female and have a little brother who is 13 that I will call W.

W has a good friend who is some type of neurodivergent or special needs — she is also 13 and I will call her Ada.

I’m not sure what her specific diagnosis is, as I know she is insecure about it so I didn’t ask.

Ada’s presence isn’t always a welcome one.

Ada is at our house regularly, and it makes everything extremely stressful.

Ada has specific routines and behaviors that make everything difficult and unpleasant.

I have nothing against her as a person — it’s not her fault — but it’s still an issue.

Ada isn’t the best at just going with the flow.

Ada needs herself and everyone around her to do things like eat one of three specific meals, complete a nightly routine that takes about two hours, and maintain absolutely no noise that isn’t made by her or approved by her — among many other things.

If we weren’t also forced to follow her routine, this might have been more bearable, but we have to comply as well.

So whenever I hear she’s coming over, I make plans with friends to avoid it.

Before long, her mom starts to have a problem with this avoidance.

After a few months of this, my mom noticed and said I should stay home sometimes to be a positive female role model for Ada — her mom is dead and she’s an only child.

I refused.

But her mom didn’t seem to care about her preferences.

Now my mom has stopped telling me when Ada’s coming over to try to force me to stay, but I still find out and make last-minute plans or hang out at the park.

My mom confronted me about it again last night, saying Ada really likes me and wants to see me.

But I’m worn out enough from school and I’m not babysitting someone’s kid who is a nightmare to be around.

My mom’s mad, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m an asshole.

AITA?

Her mom isn’t being fair to her at all in this situation.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this post about an entitled daughter who wants the same rewards as her hardworking brother.

What did Reddit have to say?

If Ada wants to get anywhere in life, she’s going to have to start working on herself.

This user can’t help but wonder where Ada’s actual parents are.

This teen has enough on her plate without being forced to be a “positive role model” against her will.

This user sees right through the mother’s scheme.

The friend’s background makes it hard to say no without feeling like a bad person, which is probably why the mom leaned on it.

But guilt isn’t a substitute for permission, and voluntelling a teenager into a caregiving-adjacent role because it’s convenient isn’t the same as raising a compassionate kid.

She is compassionate — that’s why she feels conflicted at all.

The visits aren’t going away, the friend isn’t going anywhere, and this situation needs a real solution that isn’t just hoping the daughter stops leaving.

This teen already has more than enough on her plate.