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There’s a big difference between “Mom’s always been a little forgetful” and “Mom just asked her daughter if she saw photos from a trip they literally took together.”
This woman has started noticing what she believes are increasingly concerning memory lapses from her 66-year-old mother-in-law. At first, the incidents seemed harmless enough—making duplicate cups of tea, forgetting whether she added ingredients to a recipe, or second-guessing everyday tasks. The kind of stuff most people brush off as normal aging.
But over the last few months, the mistakes have become harder to explain away. Forgotten meals left in the oven for days, phone conversations that apparently never happened, expired food being treated as freshly purchased, and most recently, failing to remember that her own daughter was present on a major family trip.
The problem is that when OP raises concerns, her husband dismisses them with a shrug and a “she’s always been forgetful.” Now she’s wondering whether speaking up again would be caring or crossing a line.
WIBTAH If I pointed out my MILs potential dementia symptoms to the rest of her family
I (28f) have been married for 3 years, together for 8.
Lately Ive been concerned over my MIL (66f) and her “forgetfulness.”
It started out as simple things like making another tea because she forgot she already did or adding extra butter because she couldnt recall if she put it into the recipe or not. Just small things that seem easier to forget..however it seems to have escalated in the last 3-4 months.
Yikes.
She has done the following things multiple times now: She has turned the oven off when it beeps and forgotten that there was food inside for hours or even days.
Sge claimed that she has had important phone calls with myself or my husband but we never heard a word from her.
She used very out of date dairy products because she “just bought them yesterday.”
This is wild.
This past week she had a forgetful incident that warranted my concerns even more.
At dinner with the family she turned to her daughter (32) and asked if she had seen the photos from her + FILs recent trip to Texas.
The daughter that she spoke to is the one that took the photos..they were there to visit her and her bf at their new house.
I tried to bring it up to my husband and he just brushed it off as “oh mom is always forgetful.”
Sure, sure.
Obviously I am only seeing snippets of her day to day, but the parts that Im seeing are major red flags .
So WIBTAH if I brought up my concerns again to my husband and the rest of his family?
Reddit overwhelmingly leaned NTA, with many commenters saying this has moved well beyond ordinary forgetfulness and into territory that deserves serious attention. A lot of people pointed out that the concern isn’t whether this is dementia specifically—it’s that there appears to be a noticeable change in her memory and functioning that could have many possible medical causes, all of which deserve evaluation.
Many commenters were especially concerned by the safety issues. Forgetting food in the oven, misremembering recent events, and confusing timelines aren’t just quirky senior moments when they start happening repeatedly. Several people shared stories of relatives whose symptoms were initially dismissed as normal aging, only to discover an underlying medical issue later.
The overall consensus was that OP wouldn’t be stirring up drama by speaking up. If anything, remaining silent could delay the family from addressing something that may require attention sooner rather than later.
This person says people are just resistant to this kind of news.
This person knows a way to help.
And this person has some good advice.
At some point, “Mom’s always been forgetful” stops being an explanation and starts sounding like a family catchphrase.
