Moving to a new country can be a huge deal for many people.

In this story, a man had a new neighbor move into his apartment building.

He noticed how her speech and manners were a bit awkward, so he confronted her about it.

Despite her efforts to adjust, he felt she wasn’t trying hard enough to fit into the local culture.

Check out the full details below.

AITA for telling my neighbor to adjust her mannerisms and not be rude?

I (32M) am living in an apartment in Seoul.

About a year ago, a woman (26F) moved in next door.

From the way she talks, it is pretty obvious she is not from the South.

Her accent is different. Sometimes her wording is a bit off.

She also mixes speech levels in a way people here do not really do.

This man found out that his neighbor came from North Korea.

I later found out she came from North Korea through China.

At first, I did not really care. Over time, it started getting on my nerves.

In Korea, people are careful about 존댓말 (“honoricfic language”).

This is especially true with neighbors you are not close to.

He thinks the way she responds can be slightly rude.

She will respond in a really flat or casual way.

She says things like “알았어” (okay) or “그래” (okay).

Most people would use polite speech in those situations.

It does not sound openly rude. It just sounds blunt.

However, it stands out a lot.

She also does not bow or greet other people in the hallway.

She also does not really do the usual small things, like doing a light bow or greeting in the hallway.

Most people at least acknowledge each other.

She will sometimes just walk past without saying anything.

Again, it is not a huge deal on its own. Combined with how she speaks, it feels off.

He decided to confront her about it.

After a while, I got tired of it. I decided to say something.

I told her that the way she talks can come across as rude here.

I said she should be more careful about using polite speech with neighbors.

And that not greeting people properly gives a bad impression.

She looked uncomfortable. She said she is trying and it is difficult because things are different where she is from.

She apologized.

I told her I get that. However, it has been about a year.

These are pretty basic things here. She should have adjusted more by now.

I also said that if she plans to stay here long term, she needs to make more effort.

She needs to fit in with how people actually speak and act.

She just went quiet and said sorry.

He felt frustrated that she couldn’t make an effort to adapt.

I know people from the North get a lot of support when they come here, like help with housing and settlement money.

I am not sure she works right now.

It feels frustrating that she is being supported but still not making an effort with basic social norms.

She does not seem to have a routine.

She leaves and returns home at different times throughout the day. She only has a bicycle.

Hmmm… don’t you think this feels a bit harsh?

I mean, adjusting to a whole new life and a different culture isn’t that simple.

Maybe a little more patience would have gone a long way.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a neighbor who had to take a direct approach to get the neighborhood parents to actually watch their kids.

What do you think? Let’s see how others reacted to this story.

Mind your own business, says this one.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

Short and straightforward.

This one makes a valid point.

Finally, people are calling out OP.

Not everyone learns the “house rules” at the same speed… and that’s okay.