Choosing a wedding date ten days after your pregnant sister’s due date when September and November are both wide open is a decision that comes with foreseeable consequences.

A woman expecting her first baby made her timeline clear to her family early and specifically flagged the concern when her sister started planning.

The sister acknowledged it, considered other months, and then chose the one closest to the due date anyway.

When the mom-to-be said she wouldn’t be coming, the family responded with dropped jaws and intense guilt trips. But everyone seems to be forgetting who made the scheduling decision that started this whole conversation.

Keep reading to find out Reddit’s verdict.

AITA For not attending my own sister’s wedding?

Back in November, my husband and I found out we are expecting our first baby.

My sister got engaged in February of this year.

I knew that my sister didn’t want a very long engagement, and I was nervous she was going to pick a date around my due date.

We told my family immediately that we were expecting at the end of July.

But her sister still went back and forth a million times on the actual wedding date.

Once my sister got into planning mode for the wedding, I asked her what month she was thinking about getting married.

She told me they were thinking about getting married in August.

A few days later, my sister decided she wanted to get married in October.

Turns out, her sister had waited too long and would have to choose a new date.

When they finally reached out to the venue, the month of October was completely booked.

The alternatives were either August 8th or the 15th, or the entire month of September or November was available as well.

I had a feeling my sister was going to choose August 8th.

So she was immediately upfront with her sibling.

When she told me she was leaning towards that date, I told her that I would not be able to attend her wedding because it was a week and a half after my due date.

On the phone, she seemed very understanding, but I heard from other family members that her fiancé was upset and didn’t understand why I couldn’t just bring the newborn baby to their wedding.

I directly told them that I did not feel comfortable bringing a week-and-a-half-old baby to a wedding, and that being newly postpartum, I wanted to prioritize my recovery after birth.

Now she looks like a total villain to her entire social circle.

Since then, a lot of friends and family who have been invited have been asking me at social events if I’m attending the wedding.

When I tell them no, literally everyone’s jaw drops.

Even her other sister can’t understand where she’s coming from.

I also spoke on the phone with my other sister, who told me that my sister who is getting married is hoping I’ll still be able to go and that she was in fact a little upset deep down about me not going.

This sister on the phone also told me that “it’s crazy” that I’m not going to the wedding.

I know it sounds bad that I’m not going to my own sister’s wedding, but AITA?

She thinks her sister could have considered her feelings more.

I don’t want to sound selfish, but do people not understand that going through birth and postpartum isn’t just an instant comeback?

I feel like if my sister really wanted me at her wedding, she should’ve chosen a later date.

I understand that it’s her wedding and they are going to choose the date that they want, but I feel like it’s not fair that people are acting as if I’m making some sorry excuse not to go.

Her sister’s lack of planning shouldn’t become her emergency.

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Reddit is sure to have some strong opinions on this one.

Even if she wanted to, there’s a very strong chance this new mom physically wouldn’t be able to attend.

Her sister made her choice, and now she has to live with the consequences.

Taking the baby to the wedding is just plain dangerous.

This commenter gives three good reasons why attending the wedding would be a terrible idea.

Ultimately the bride had one reasonable option when she found out October was booked and that was to pick September, November, or the other date in August and make sure her sister could be there. But she didn’t do that.

It’s just plain maddening that her sister chose the closest available date to a due date she’d been told about months earlier and then still seemed genuinely surprised when the pregnant woman couldn’t make it.

Sure, it’s her wedding and she gets to choose the date. But choosing a date you know creates a conflict and then being upset about the conflict just isn’t reasonable.

Poor planning has consequences.

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