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Imagine being in the final year of your higher education. You have one final project, and then you’re done. What would you do if you were assigned a supervisor to help you with the project, but they weren’t helpful at all. In fact, it might’ve been better having no supervisor than having this supervisor. If all the other students were giving their supervisors thank you gifts, would you give your supervisor a thank you gift too?
In this story, one electronics student is in this exact situation. The supervisor really is awful, but the student is wondering if they messed up by not giving the supervisor a thank you gift.
Let’s read the whole story to decide.
AITAH for Not Giving a “Thank You” Gift to my Supervisor when my classmates did?
For context, I’m in an electronics-related course, and for my final year project (FYP), I had to work with a circuit kit (each student got a different one).
We were assigned random supervisors to guide us through the project.
We had no say in the assignment.
There were different types of supervisors.
Before the FYP started, my instructor explained the types of supervisors we might get:
- The super helpful ones who guide you every step of the way to help you get a high mark.
- The neutral ones who don’t go out of their way but will help when you ask.
- The ones who barely help, even if you’re stuck—you’re basically on your own.
Guess which one I got? 🙂
It’s pretty bad when your instructor admits you got a bad supervisor.
I got the last one.
My supervisor was already infamous for being naggy and condescending, known to make students cry and even fail.
But at first, I didn’t think much of it. I was respectful, greeted him with a smile, and didn’t engage in gossip like my classmates did.
That changed once he became my supervisor.
Even my instructor said, “Well, that’s unfortunate,” and my friends gave me sympathetic looks.
This is awful!
At first, he was willing to guide me. But after our third meeting, he was always “too busy.”
I understood he had classes, but other supervisors would pause their classes to help their students. I didn’t get that privilege.
Despite being passionate about my circuit and performing well in exams, every rare meeting with him turned into public humiliation. He’d mock me loudly for not knowing certain things, making sure others could hear. He even said I was a waste of his time.
I kept trying—reaching out in person and via text—but he kept dismissing me, telling me to figure it out on my own.
It got worse.
I became demotivated. I hated working on my FYP.
This went on for six months. My mental health deteriorated to the point where I had dark thoughts.
During my presentation, I did horribly. My circuit was a mess. I was shaking with fear.
When giving feedback, he scoffed and said loudly, “You dreamed big, but this is the only thing you’re capable of doing.”
It was even more awful.
I was devastated.
I didn’t want perfection—I just wanted a functional circuit and proper guidance.
I left the room and cried in front of my friends. They knew how he treated me but couldn’t do much besides comfort me.
Since then, I’ve avoided looking at him. I lost all respect for him as a teacher.
This is where OP draws the line.
When my classmates started giving thank-you gifts to their supervisors, I didn’t.
Some classmates told me I should have because “it’s polite,” but I refused.
Am I a jerk?
Should I have forced him to help me more?
That supervisor definitely doesn’t deserve a thank you gift.
If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a student who was threatened after refusing an elective exam, so they took the case to the district.
Let’s see if Reddit agrees.
This person calls the supervisor unprofessional, and I definitely agree.
Another person thinks gifts should never be required.
This is a good suggestion!
I don’t think the professor should be allowed to be a supervisor again. Even the instructor knew he was an awful supervisor.
It’s not fair to the students if some of them get supervisors who are really helpful and others get supervisors who make fun of them and don’t help at all. There should be some sort of expectations for the supervisors.
And as far as a gift, no, the supervisor definitely didn’t deserve a gift, unless the gift would actually be some sort of prank or revenge. But it’s probably better just not to give a gift at all.
