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Loyalty is one of the most complicated things to navigate when two different relationships pull you in opposite directions.
A woman who had been best friends with someone for 25 years, stood by her through a brutal breakup with a man who trashed her apartment and sold her belongings, found herself being asked to attend that same man’s wedding two years later.
The catch is that he’s now marrying her partner’s sister. Her partner wants her there to meet his family and introduce their kids. Her best friend wants her nowhere near it.
She suggested attending the trip but skipping the ceremony, but her partner wouldn’t budge. Now she’s stuck between two people she loves and a situation that has no clean answer.
Keep reading for the full story.
WIBTA if I [28F] agreed to attend my best friend’s exes wedding?
So I’ve been friends with this girl (28F) for 25 years, literally.
We lived on the same street and had playdates together since we were toddlers.
We went to the same school for years, remained friends after graduation, and she was there for me when I gave birth to my son because no one else came.
During their time together, she also saw her friend through some pretty crappy relationships.
She was dating a guy (32M) — we’ll call him Brian — for 10 years, from the age of 16 until she was 26.
Two years ago they broke up after he trashed their apartment and sold half of their stuff to feed his habit.
I was there for her when they broke up, and I was even there when he came to pick up his stuff, just to have her back.
But soon Brian was betrothed to someone she knew — and it put her in an awkward position.
Well, fast forward to now — Brian is engaged to my partner’s sister (26F) and they’re getting married in December.
I told my partner (30M) I’m not interested in going, and that I’d advise him to talk his sister out of it.
He’s very adamant that it’s his sister’s decision, and if Brian makes her happy, that’s fine with him.
Her partner isn’t that supportive of her skipping the wedding, even knowing her background.
He also says he’d like me to go as his plus one and that it would mean the world to him, as he’d like me to meet his family and get to know them better.
We’d be traveling from Massachusetts to California for the wedding.
Now she feels pulled in two different directions.
My best friend doesn’t like the idea and said she knows how much Brian has hurt her.
On the other hand, my partner and I don’t really see his family except for his sister, who lives in the same town as us.
He wants to show me his hometown and wants his parents to meet my son and our daughter, who isn’t here yet but will be two months old at the time of the wedding.
I suggested going to California but not actually attending the wedding, but he thinks that would be disrespectful to his family.
So WIBTA if I agreed to go with my partner?
This is a tough choice. Either way, she’s bound to disappoint someone.
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Redditors chime in with their thoughts.
Her traveling for the wedding is a problem for another reason too.
This user also points out the dangers for the baby.
It would be a hard no for this user too.
Using her new baby as an excuse is the perfect escape plan.
Both of her loyalties are real and neither one is wrong, which is what makes coming to a verdict genuinely difficult.
Her best friend was there for her when no one else came. She was there for her best friend through one of the worst periods of her life. That history is serious and it deserves to be considered.
But at the same time, her priorities have changed, and her partner’s ask is also serious. He wants her to meet his family, introduce their children, and be present for a milestone. Those are reasonable things to want from a partner.
She didn’t create this situation, but she’s now being forced to navigate it.
