It is always heartbreaking when someone loses custody of their kids. Even though it is hard, the best thing for the kids is if they can be cared for by family members.

What would you do if your mother was caring for your sister’s kids after she lost custody, but then Mom got sick and asked you to take the kids in?

That is the situation that the woman in this story is in, but she doesn’t think she can afford three more kids. She offered to have her mother move closer to her with the kids so she could help out, but Mom is unwilling.

This is honestly a very difficult situation, but in the end, I think she has to do what is best for her immediate family. Read through the full story below and see what you think she should do.

AITAH I don’t want custody of my sister’s 3 kids?

I (29F) have 1 kid (11F). My sister (32F) has 3 kids (11F, 8F, 6F). The oldest is also autistic.

What a sad situation.

About 3 years ago my sister lost custody of her kids. The girls were split up in the system for a little over a year before our mom (52F) got custody 2 years ago.

Over the last 2 years the girls have been really thriving. They’re happy, healthy, doing well in school…

Absolutely heartbreaking.

Recently my mom got some unexpected health issues that are severely impacting her mobility and energy. There is no cure. She called me last week to ask if I would take the girls so they aren’t split up in the system again. My heart sank.

I LOVE my nieces. There’s no denying that. And my daughter loves her cousins. The kids all get along great.

She clearly wants what is best for these young ladies.

They live on the opposite side of the country, but I visit whenever possible. I’m always planning all sorts of activities and experiences for them, and encouraging them to pursue the things they love.

The oldest loves art, the middle child loves gymnastics, and the youngest loves pokemon and video games. I plan things we can all do together and I make sure they each get one on one time too. I would die for these girls.

You can’t just pretend that taking custody won’t cost money.

But I just don’t have the means to care for them full time.

My husband and I are considered a low income family. After a decade of saving, we finally bought a small 2 bed townhouse, but there’s barely enough room for the 3 of us, let alone another 3 kids too.

The kids will have to move either way.

I suggested my mom move closer so I can help more day to day, but she shot that down rather quickly.

Her reasons were she didn’t want to pull the kids out of their current school (but I guess it’s ok if I do??), and with her health issues she didn’t want to have to find a new Dr (that one is pretty valid, there’s a serious health care crisis in my country).

They are offering some very reasonable options.

Us moving closer to them is not an option, we would both have to find new jobs and my husband’s current job has really good benefits we can’t afford to lose.

My mom is retired so the only thing tying her to her current location is her Dr.

She has to really think this through.

My heart is breaking. I don’t want to lose my nieces to the system again. I love the relationship we have.

But I don’t see how I could sustainably take on the 3 of them full time.

It really isn’t fair to be upset with her about the situation. What did the sister do to lose custody?

My mom and my sister have been calling me heartless and that I haven’t fully thought it through, but I have.

I’ve been thinking about it every day for over 3 years when my sister first lost custody.

This is undoubtedly a very difficult situation, but she has to do what is in the best interests of his own family. She has offered some good options, but Mom and his sister seem unwilling.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bus driver who is sick and tired of covering everyone else’s weekend shifts.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about the situation and what should be done.

This really is a heartbreaking situation.

You can’t make decisions based on guilt.

Here is someone who works in the child protection field.

I agree with this commenter.

Her sister has no say in what happens.

No matter how badly she wants to help, she is not in a position to do so. This family needs to come together to figure out what is best for the kids. Thinking outside the box and coming up with potential solutions.

No matter what they choose, it isn’t going to be easy. Hopefully, they can figure something out. Even if the kids need to go to the foster system, the family can still see them.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who doesn’t want to go to the amusement park with her friend anymore, because the friend can no longer ride most of the attractions.