A vacation isn’t a crisis and a plane ticket isn’t an emergency, which are two things a parent had to say out loud to her adult daughter after a family trip invitation arrived.

One woman’s daughter, who had been managing the financial consequences of her own bad choices for years, called asking for the flight to be covered.

So when the mother finally said no, the daughter went down the entire family phone tree looking for a different answer she never found.

When she called her mother once more, what should have been a logical discussion turned into a dramatic fight.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for telling my daughter her money issues are not the family problem and if she can’t afford to go on the vacation then she can’t go

This is about my middle child, Kelly. Kelly is in her early thirties.

Kelly made some bad decisions in college and had to drop out.

So she was in debt with no degree to show for it.

She has bounced around with low-paying jobs for a while.

My other two kids finished school and have stable careers.

As a parent, she’s developed a policy about loaning money, but other relatives have complicated this.

I personally will only lend money for actual emergencies.

The issue is that my sister, the kids’ aunt, has invited everyone in the family on a vacation to a resort outside of the country.

Her aunt struck a deal with everyone involved.

The deal is that you need to pay for your flight and food costs, and housing will be paid by my sister.

Everyone is pretty excited for the trip, and it is going to take place at the end of this year around the holidays.

My spouse and I have been saving a lot since we learned about the trip at the beginning of the year.

My spouse and I just bought our tickets, which were around $1,000 each.

So soon, Kelly expected her to bail her out.

I got a call from Kelly asking if I could pay for her ticket.

I told her no and that I don’t have the money.

I thought that was the end of it.

But Kelly wasn’t done yet.

Kelly went on to call the rest of the family asking for money so she could go.

They all turned her down.

Kelly and I got into an argument after this — she called again asking for the money.

I told her no and it started an argument.

Kelly seems to think she’s being needlessly cruel, but she thinks otherwise.

She told me it was unfair that she can’t go on the family vacation and that I could make it work.

I told her I can’t — I would need to go into debt, so that’s a no, and I refuse to take money out of our savings since that is for emergencies.

So finally she gives Kelly some tough love.

In the end, I told her that her money issues are not the family’s problem, and if she can’t afford it, she just can’t go.

She called me a jerk and claimed I am not supporting her.

I told her this isn’t an emergency — it’s a vacation — and I am not giving her money for a vacation.

AITA?

Sounds like Kelly made this mess, so she’ll have to get herself out of it.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter has been through a very similar situation.

If Kelly buckles up and works hard, there’s still time for her to go on the trip.

Going to college doesn’t always equal stability.

Kelly is an adult, so this is 100% her responsibility.

Calling your parent unsupportive for not funding your vacation is a significant misread of what support actually means.

This mother has been clear about her financial boundaries for a long time, saved deliberately for a trip she wanted to take, and said no to something that fell clearly outside those boundaries.

When her daughter couldn’t find anyone else to accept her ridiculous plea, that should have told her something, but instead she went full speed ahead into her own entitlement.

It’s high time her daughter stopped looking for handouts and started looking in the mirror.