If you want to go to college, it can be a good idea to apply to multiple schools to increase your chances of being accepted. Imagine applying to two schools, and you know which one you like better. It seems like it would be easy to know which school to go to, right?

Not necessarily.

In this story, one student applied to two universities where he would like to get his PhD. A former teacher helped him prepare a thesis plan which he ended up submitting to both universities with his application.

Now that he has been accepted by the school he wants to go to, he feels bad breaking the news to his teacher.

Keep reading to find out why and to see what you think he should do.

WIBTA if I decide to not proceed with collaboration with my possible supervisor

I’ve applied to two universities to do my PhD – let’s call them A and B.

University A has this weird policy that you need to submit an statement from your planned supervisor that he/she will take the responsibility.

Both universities also require candidates to submit, among other documents, a skeleton plan of thesis.

One teacher helped OP quite a bit.

So, at the university A I’ve asked one of my former teachers to be my supervisor. He’s a really knowledgable, widely respected specialist.

He initially agreed to work with me, but also asked to see my thesis plan. Then he did two things: firstly, suggested that he won’t sign the statement until my plan is basically perfect; secondly, he – without me even asking – started giving me a lot of very helpful comments.

We’ve met three times to discuss the plan, and thanks to his insight I’ve changed basically the entire thing. I don’t even know if I would be accepted if not for his help.

Later, I’ve submitted the ready plan to both universities. I’ve also had intervievs at each of them.

He knows what university he wants to go to.

Now I know that I am accepted for university B, and I will know in a few hours if I am accepted for university A.

Initially, I did not have an opinion on which university I will choose in case I am accepted to both. But in the meantime, I decided I want to do my PhD at univeristy B, as my initially not-very-warm feelings for university A strenghtened during the process.

Which means that if I am accepted to university A too, I will have to tell my would-be supervisor that I will not be his student despite the chance I’ve got.

He guesses at what the teacher will think when he breaks the news.

On one hand, I feel like I wasted a bit of his valuable time. He might even feel used as I’ve submitted the plan developed with his help to another university.

He also fully knows his high position and might feel like it’s a dumb move for me to dismiss such a chance (although university B does not lack status either).

On the other hand, it is still my plan, for my research, based on my idea and written by me.

He shouldn’t really expect for me to knowingly submit an inferior version to university B.

OP is grateful but wants to prioritize what he thinks is the best decision for him.

Also, we are talking about the next 4 years of my life, and maybe even more – I can’t really base my plans on an informal, unsaid commitment that I don’t know if even exists.

Finally, as thankful as I am for his help (I plan on delivering him a thank-you letter and some nice gift anyway), he did much more than I expected or asked for. I would never have so much audacity to ask him for three meetings if he wouldn’t suggest it himself.

So, as thankful as I am, I don’t really feel obligated.

So, will I be a jerk if I just choose university B and politely thank the guy for his help but decline further collaboration? I fear that he won’t be happy with all that.

I honestly think the teacher will understand, but it may have been a good idea for OP to let him know upfront that he’s applying to two universities.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a professor who missed a major funding deadline after they told their graduate student to leave them alone.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

This person shares an important reason to consider going to university A.

Another person thinks it’s fine to go to university B.

This person shares another reason why it might be important to consider university A.

But this person thinks the teacher would understand.

The comments are clearly split. That gives OP a lot to think about.

First, he needs to find out if he even got accepted by university A. If he didn’t, then it’s a non-issue. He can simply go to B. I

f he did get into A, he really needs to think about why he thinks it would be better to go to B. The comments made a good point about it being helpful to have someone who believes in you helping you throughout your education, and he would clearly have that at A.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who abandoned their own D&D campaign when their friends stopped paying attention.