Getting sober is a massive achievement, and nobody should take that away from someone who put in the work to get there.

But sobriety doesn’t give a person the right to spend the next three years controlling everyone around them, weaponizing their recovery, and bullying the people who’ve been nothing but accommodating.

One woman has been dealing with exactly that from her brother-in-law’s girlfriend, who got sober three years ago and immediately started antagonizing her and her family.

So after years of bullying, she finally had enough and banned the girlfriend from coming around.

When Father’s Day rolled around, she went against her better judgement and gave the girlfriend a second chance — and soon came to regret it.

Keep reading for the full story.

Wibtah if I don’t allow my future sister in law over to my house anymore?

For some quick background, all of this drama started three years ago when BIL’s gf got sober.

As happy as I am that she took those steps to benefit her life, she really changed after this for the worse and began antagonizing me and my family.

She gives several examples of her troubling behavior.

Some examples: told me if I had such bad postpartum depression that I shouldn’t have had my daughter (PPD was resolved within a few months with the help of my doctor).

That I was an alcoholic for having 2 glasses of wine.

But even when she took steps to accommodate her future SIL, nothing was ever enough.

Once I stopped drinking in front of her, that I am an AH for allowing my in-laws to drink in my home in front of her.

Glaring at my children.

Constantly changing her “boundaries” after the fact.

She thinks she knows exactly what’s going on here.

Long story short: she tries to emotionally regulate herself by controlling the actions of other people around her.

So finally, she and her husband put their foot down.

6 months ago we told her we were done. That she was not allowed over any longer because she has been consistently rude, controlling, and a bully.

And frankly we don’t want that behavior or drama around our young children.

So when the family gathered the next time, things quickly got dramatic.

Recently we had extended family in town, my husband’s dad and dad’s gf. BIL vouched for his gf and they both joined in hanging out for Father’s Day.

I was polite, inviting, and put my best foot forward with her.

The glaring soon continued.

But during the three days we all spent together, BIL’s gf would glare at me and my husband, run out of the room if I was in it, and stopped conversation when I entered it (in the typical mean girl “you can’t sit with us” fashion).

My in-laws didn’t say anything but they looked quite stressed.

The fact that this happened in her own home was just too much to handle.

Her behavior isn’t nice in any setting, but especially inappropriate when she is in my home.

I don’t want to allow her access to me or my children anymore due to this behavior, but my BIL doesn’t like drama and was pretty upset the last time we brought all this up.

He’d prefer if we just ignore it and try to get along.

I’ve been doing that for three years and his gf’s behavior towards me has only gotten worse.

WIBTA to permanently ban her from my home after this?

Something has to give here.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose celebratory post-grad school vacation is being ruined by his family’s insistence he’s being lazy.

Redditors are sure to have an idea or two.

This user doesn’t buy her BIL’s empty excuses.

Disrespecting someone in their own home is a bridge too far.

This commenter has a few ideas on how to bring about some change.

This redditor describes a fascinating phenomenon that happens with some recently sober people.

“Ignore it and try to get along” is the advice of someone who clearly isn’t the target.

BIL doesn’t catch the glares. He doesn’t hear the passive aggressive comments.

His experience of the situation is fundamentally different from hers, and his comfort shouldn’t be the deciding factor in whether someone who has been consistently cruel gets continued access to her home and her children.

She’s tried getting along for three years, but the girlfriend’s behavior only got worse and worse.

A permanent ban is pretty much the only option this family has left.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.