Taking care of a sick partner is one thing. Feeling like you’re parenting a sick partner is another.

This woman says her boyfriend has been battling a virus for several days and recently made a trip to the emergency room because of a severe headache. She spent the better part of her evening there with him, helping however she could, bringing comfort items, pushing his wheelchair, updating his family, and staying by his side until the early hours of the morning.

The hospital ran tests, performed a CT scan, and ultimately determined that he was dealing with a virus. He received treatment for his symptoms and was sent home. According to OP, he has shown signs of improvement since then, including being able to eat, drink, and sleep again.

The problem arose when he decided he wanted to go back to the ER—not because his condition had worsened, but because he wanted another dose of the medication that temporarily relieved his headache. That’s where OP decided she’d had enough.

AITA for refusing to drive my boyfriend to the ER for nonesense?

My 30f bf (35m) has been sick with a virus for the last 5 days and we went to the ER a friday becasue his headache was unbearable.

We got in an arguement earlier becasue he wants to go again for the drug they gave him for his headache and I really don’t see the point.

A month ago I had intestinal bleeding I went to the ER with and he didn’t even leave work to check on me.

Wow, rude.

He offered to come, I said it’s ok. Drove myself there like a big girl, dealt with it and got home. And last 5 days I have been nothing but accomodating while I have started a new job.

We were at er friday from 6pm to 2 am, he was such a baby, complaining that no one was moving fast enough, etc.

I had packed him a blanket, noise cancelling headphones, eye mask, he had ice packs, i wheeled him around I honestly thought it was excessive.

What a nice girlfriend.

Sure I can imagine feeling dehydrated which he got intravenous treatment for, and they ave him a temprorary solution for a headache which was a drug they told me they give to muh older people becasue it’s stronger than morphine.

Kept his family updated becasue they were checking up on him. His results came back fine, CT scan fine, blood fine, result – Virus.

I have work tomorrow and its my second week at a new job. He wants to go, I said no problem, let me ask his sister becasue she was offering, and understands that I just started a new job and wants me to also get rest. She doesnt mind.

Perfect.

He’s like, no just drive me. Why? I firmly without yelling: It’s a Virus give it time. If you want to go, then your sister can take you.

He got annoyed and now wants to go on his own. Go on then. 2 times in ER for a flu, whatever. There are obvious improvements, hes keeping food and water down and has been getting sleep.

Only reason he wants to go again is to get that drug that gave him temprorary relief from a headache which i feel is excessive.

Wild.

In all honesty, I don’t mind mild tantrums, I don’t mind changing ice packs every hour, I dont mind helping him get things around that he feels he needs.

What was most annoying are 2 things: at ER he was expecting everyone to adhere to his smallest ailments, waa need ice pack, i want a bed, I want a warmer blanket, waa get me another pillow waa where is the doctor. why cant they offer me medicine?

and like to a child I had to explain that there are others that have way more serious conditions than a fucking flu.

Come on now.

Second, where was my princess treatment when I was at ER a month ago with bleeding? Not even a visit.

No one except him even knew I was there and dealt with it, got my refferal, drove my bleeding a** home, slept and went to work the next day.

AITA for not taking him to the ER for the second time?

Reddit overwhelmingly sided with NTA, though many commenters felt the real issue wasn’t the second ER trip—it was the imbalance in the relationship. A lot of readers were struck by how much effort OP put into caring for her boyfriend compared to the support she reportedly received when she was dealing with intestinal bleeding just a month earlier.

Many commenters agreed that if his symptoms were significantly worsening, returning to the hospital would make sense. But based on OP’s description, it sounded less like a medical emergency and more like an attempt to recreate the temporary relief he experienced during the first visit. Several healthcare workers in the comments also noted that emergency rooms are designed to address urgent conditions, not provide repeat treatment for a diagnosed viral illness that’s already improving.

The overall consensus was that OP wasn’t refusing him medical care. She offered an alternative ride, respected his ability to seek treatment if he wanted to, and simply declined to sacrifice sleep and a new job to facilitate what appeared to be a non-emergency.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who homeschooled during the day and worked at night, only to have her employer try to change her schedule.

This person votes on boyfriend definitely being the AH.

This person is a paramedic and says it wasn’t an emergency.

This person says OP did PLENTY and is NTA.

It’s hard to play Florence Nightingale for someone who couldn’t even be bothered to visit when you were the one in the ER.

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