Choosing a university can shape someone’s independence and future.

The following story is about a college student who was concerned when their friend chose a school that would keep them living at home with a controlling parent.

Despite better academic and social options, the friend chose free tuition and staying at home.

Their repeated objections led to tension, especially as it affected their plan to live together.

Do you think this was the best decision? Let’s take a closer look!

AITA for pressuring my friend to go to a different university than the one they picked?

My (19) friend (18) got into 4 universities.

X is one they do not even want to go to. A is my university.

B is the top university for their program but is super expensive, and C is the university their parent teaches at.

The issue is my friend accepted C because of free tuition.

Their family is well off with education savings exceeding undergrad costs.

OP doesn’t seem to think it’s a good idea for the friend to go to the school where their parent works.

Their parent has a history of being very neglectful.

They have also forced body shaming, weighing, and eating disorders.

There have been occasional escalations of that behavior.

Since they applied to universities, the parent has been “so much better.”

I think it is because they want my friend to go to C.

They had always planned not to go to University C.

My friend would live at home and go to C.

They would basically not leave their parents’ control.

C is a very anti-social school to start with.

For years, we talked about them going to any school other than C.

Their friend wanted to go to University A instead.

They even visited me last year at A. They seemed really interested in going.

That was until their parent became “nice.”

I know free tuition is hard to turn down.

They have a 42 predicted IB score.

A gives pretty decent first-year scholarships and scholarships beyond first year.

That is where we are at right now.

They think University B is the best for their academics.

I think paying would not be impossible. I do it with no parental support.

I worked until I moved off campus and wrote lots of scholarships.

I think B would be best for their academics.

However, I agree that having no support system would not be good.

The minimal financial aid they provide would also not be good for my friend.

Now, they are arguing about their differences of opinion.

I voice this heavily. It definitely causes lots of arguing.

I know that is probably going to make me the jerk.

It has also really impacted me. I have experienced big family loss.

We were supposed to be roommates. I am now struggling to find housing.

AITA?

Uh oh, that’s a tough mix of concern and pressure.

OP clearly cares, but pushing too hard can backfire, especially if there are many essential factors to consider.

Sometimes, people have to make their own choices, even if they’re not the best ones.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who decided to stop returning his neighbor’s misplaced laundry after two years.

Let’s check out the comments of other people on Reddit to this story.

This person gives their honest opinion.

Here’s a valid point from this user.

This comment makes sense, too.

This user is calling out OP.

Finally, people have similar thoughts.

You can guide a friend, but you can’t always choose their career path.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a high school student whose manager insists on scheduling them during school hours.