Sometimes, the person everyone depends on is the one who needs a break the most.

This 19-year-old recently found herself in that situation after spending years helping care for both of her parents and taking on responsibilities most kids never have to think about.

In the past, she never complained about stepping up when her family needed her.

This time, though, she had her own exams, housing issues, and a recent breakup to deal with all at once.

So, when her aunt asked her to take her mother to a doctor’s appointment that conflicted with her university schedule, she finally said no.

But rather than understanding, her aunt called her selfish for refusing to help.

Keep reading to see how it all played out.

Aitah for not wanting to take my mom to her doctors appointment

I (19F) have been my mom’s caretaker since I was 12. I took care of my dad up until he died and took care of my mom after he died.

I have been labeled the “secretary” since I was 12, while my twin got to go off and have fun.

I’ve done a lot of things like dealing with lawyers, figuring out finances, and dealing with medical stuff that I should not have had to do at that age.

Her aunt wants her to attend the doctor’s appointment.

Recently, my mom (diabetic) let her blood sugar get low, and she collapsed into my arms, where I took her blood sugar and got her stable.

I informed my family of this, and my aunt is trying to get me more involved in her medical care. She has been asking me questions about my mom’s medical history and trying to make me research and purchase medical equipment for her.

She told me she wants me to go to the doctor with my mom because she’s worried that she “won’t be able to communicate with the doctor” and “there may be a language barrier,” despite my mom seeing this doctor for years without issue and being fully able to communicate.

She already has way too much going on.

The problem, for me, is that it’s on a day that I have an appointment and an exam for university.

Also, I recently went through a breakup, have been struggling with getting approved for my apartment so I can continue school, have exams all week, and have been dealing with my own stuff, so I’m very stressed.

All I asked of my aunt was for me to stay out of it and have her take care of it because I have a lot going on. She called me selfish and told me that plenty of 19-year-olds go through this or worse and that I am overreacting. But I know that the more I help out, the more expectations there will be of me.

Now, she’s really stressed.

I have been helping in my own way. I am always monitoring my mom, making sure she is taking her meds, etc. I’m pretty much her caregiver to make sure she doesn’t die. And my family pushes it all onto me because I’m a girl, it’s convenient, and I’m responsible.

All I wanted was a break.

Under normal circumstances, I would have no problem getting involved, but at this moment, when my education and housing are on the line and I’m recovering from a breakup that happened not long ago, it’s a lot.

AITA?

Eek! It sounds like this young lady has way too much on her plate.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who stirred up family drama by finally choosing her own mom over her in-laws.

Let’s see if the people over at Reddit have any suggestions on how to handle this.

Hopefully, this doesn’t happen.

Great point.

For this reader, it’s all about setting boundaries.

As this person points out, caring for a family member is stressful.

It’s easy to feel sorry for the mom, and hopefully she gets the care she needs.

However, expecting one child to carry this kind of responsibility since she was 12 years old just isn’t fair.

The rest of the family needs to step up instead of assuming she’ll always be the one to handle everything, especially when her own future is on the line.

And, most importantly, saying no this one time doesn’t make her selfish. It simply means she finally recognized that she can’t keep putting everyone else’s needs ahead of her own forever.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a middle schooler who was totally frazzled after being left to babysit alone for 3-plus hours, and swears she’s never doing it again.