One of adulthood’s weirdest social rules is trying to figure out which relationships survive a breakup—and which ones are apparently supposed to disappear with it.

This man became friends with his sister-in-law’s boyfriend while they were dating, and unlike the relationship itself, the friendship never really ended. More than a year after the breakup, the two still get along well, occasionally keep in touch, and recently found themselves sharing a mutual interest in golf. So when the ex invited him out for a round, OP’s first reaction was basically, “Sure, why not?”

His wife, however, sees things differently. Even though her sister has been in a serious relationship for quite some time, she worries that maintaining a friendship with the ex could be perceived as disloyal or insensitive. OP doesn’t want to create unnecessary family tension, but he also doesn’t think friendships should automatically expire because someone else’s relationship did.

Now he’s wondering if accepting the invitation would be harmless—or a family-sized headache waiting to happen.

WIBTAH if I go play golf with my sister-in-laws ex boyfriend?

My sister-in-law broke up with her ex-boyfriend about a year and a half ago. Since then, she has moved on and is now in a serious, committed relationship with someone else.

During the time they were dating, her ex and I became pretty good friends. Over the past year and a half, we’ve stayed on good terms.

Recently, he started getting into golf, and because he knows I play, he invited me to join him for a round.

Uh oh…

I didn’t think much of it because, from my perspective, he’s a friend and my sister-in-law has clearly moved on.

However, my wife thinks it might not be a good idea.

She feels her sister could see it as a betrayal and be upset that I’m spending time with her ex.

Most likely…

I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama or hurt anyone’s feelings.

But I also don’t feel like I should have to end a friendship because of a relationship that ended a long time ago.

AITA if I go play golf with my sister-in-law’s ex-boyfriend?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who stirred up family drama by finally choosing her own mom over her in-laws.

Reddit largely landed on NTA, though many commenters added a healthy dose of “proceed with caution.” The biggest factor for most people was timing. A year and a half has passed, the sister-in-law is in a committed new relationship, and there’s no indication the breakup is still an active emotional wound. Under those circumstances, many felt it’s reasonable for OP to maintain a friendship that developed independently of the romantic relationship.

That said, commenters also noted that family dynamics rarely operate on pure logic. Even if OP isn’t doing anything wrong, some people can still feel hurt or blindsided by seeing family members remain close with an ex. Several suggested that a quick conversation with the sister-in-law could prevent misunderstandings before they happen.

The overall consensus was that friendship isn’t betrayal—but avoiding an awkward surprise is usually worth a few minutes of communication.

This person says it’s only rude if the breakup was messy (but it sounds like it wasn’t).

This person says it’s all totally fine.

And this person says this is ridiculous to even think about.

Sounds like the golf game probably isn’t the problem, but the family group chat afterward might be.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a middle schooler who was totally frazzled after being left to babysit alone for 3-plus hours, and swears she’s never doing it again.