Humans are social creatures by design, but that doesn’t mean that we always feel like being around others 24/7. And one of the problems facing young people nowadays is that the cost of housing is so high that they’re usually forced to live in shared houses as a result – if they ever even move out of their parents’ houses, that is.

And in particular if you’re more of an introverted person, this can lead to social burnout or a complete overwhelm. Because if you spend your day in a bustling workplace, come home via busy streets or packed into public transport, maybe visit a busy bar or grocery store on the way home, and then open the living room to find all your roommates (and maybe some of their friends too) hanging out? Even for a very social person this can become a bit too much sometimes.

So when you live with roommates, it’s important to establish boundaries right away – doing so can help to keep you sane. It also pays to figure out some house rules with your roommates early on, to ensure that you can feel relaxed and comfortable when coming home, knowing exactly what you’re going to be coming home to.

The woman in this story thought she had that – a chill relationship with a roommate in which she thought all the house rules were worked out. But when she had some friends over to play games, it became clear that things were very different.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for telling my roommate that she should go to her bedroom while I have friends over?

I (20, female) have lived with my roommate “Sarah” (21, female) for the past eight months.

Sarah and I were friends for a couple of years before we decided to move in together, and up until last night, we have had very few issues.

Our house is a common hangout spot for our friends and that’s never been a problem; we just let each other know if we are having people over.

Let’s see how the drama got started for these roommates.

A few days ago, a couple of friends and I made plans to have a board game night at my house. I let Sarah know and she said that would be fine.

When I got home from class yesterday, I saw that Sarah was studying at the kitchen table, right next to the living room where we would be hanging out. I reminded her about the game night and she acknowledged it.

About an hour later, my friends arrived. We put on some light music and began playing our game. As time passed, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Sarah was looking annoyed, sighing and talking under her breath.

I thought that she was frustrated with her schoolwork and I didn’t pay much attention to it. After a while, my friends went outside to smoke, leaving Sarah and I alone.

But it turned out that Sarah had a problem with more than just her schoolwork.

Sarah then said to me, “Do you think you guys could keep things down? All this noise is really distracting while I’m trying to study…” This was surprising to me as I didn’t think that we were being too loud at all. We were talking at a normal volume and playing our music softly.

I told her, “I don’t think we’re being unreasonable. I gave you a heads up that we were gonna have a game night and you’re choosing to study in the kitchen. If you want a quieter environment you could just go to your room.”

Sarah said, “Why should I have to go to my room? I was here first, you guys should just play the game in your room.”

I said, “The common areas of a house are for hanging out with other people, and if you’re studying in the common area, you may have to deal some noise. If you want peace and quiet, that’s what your bedroom is for. I don’t think it’s fair for us to move our entire game into my room just because you want to do homework out here.”

But Sarah really didn’t like that.

Sarah said, “Since when do you make all the rules about where I can and can’t be in the house?”

I said, “I’m not telling you where you can and can’t be, I’m just saying that if you want to hang out in the living area there might be other people around.”

Sarah said, “Fine, have it your way then,” picked up her laptop, and stormed to her room.

My friends came back in and we finished the game; I didn’t see Sarah for the rest of the night.

Let’s see how things were after that.

I thought things would have blown over by this morning, but that was not the case. When I went to the kitchen to make breakfast, Sarah was already there. She said, “Oh, sorry, am I allowed to be here? Since you make all the rules now.”

I said, “Sarah, that’s not what I meant and you know it,” but she took her coffee and stormed off to her room. She hasn’t talked to me since.

I don’t think I was being unreasonable last night, but Sarah seems to be really upset.

AITA?

It seems that there is probably more to this situation than the woman realises.

Maybe Sarah is struggling with something at school, or has something else going on in her life, and she’s letting it get in the way of her relationships or making her feel like being stubborn.

Because otherwise, this is completely random and out of the blue.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a family who is resisting pressure from the HOA to remove their tree and lights.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person agreed that perhaps Sarah just wanted to get some unrelated feelings out.

While others thought that she’d done all she could to warn Sarah.

This Redditor thought that perhaps they needed a talk about house rules.

While some people wondered whether Sarah simply felt excluded.

It would be really sad if Sarah had simply wanted to play with her roommate and friends, but was never once invited into the game – and if this is the case, while she has every right to have feelings about it, she also has a responsibility to approach this in a more mature way. Because her behaviour – trying to force a load of people into a small room while she takes up the shared space for studying – is completely unreasonable.

Maybe these two roommates haven’t run into this exact situation before, and it’s important that they have some clear communication about what happened in case it ever happens again. But Sarah’s snippy comments the next morning really aren’t reaching towards any kind of resolution. She clearly still thinks that she’s in the right, even though most folk would see it otherwise.

In reality, it’s probably the case that Sarah is under some kind of stress and not handling it very well. But regardless, it’s never fair to treat a roommate like this.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who decided to stop returning his neighbor’s misplaced laundry after two years.