Family and business do not always mix well.

This woman was discussing some temporary financial challenges with her father when he suggested a way for her to earn extra money. At first, the offer sounded like a possible solution, but the details quickly raised concerns. As she looked closer at the expectations, she began to question whether the arrangement was as helpful as it seemed.

Don’t miss this interesting read, as it is one of those family disputes where a favor starts to feel more like an obligation. You will realize how difficult it can be to balance family responsibilities with fairness, especially when caregiving to an elderly family member is involved. If you were in her shoes, what would you do? Read the full story below.

AITA for not accepting my dad’s “job offer”

I (24F) am SAHM of 2. For context, my husband works in a cold storage and takes cares of all of our bills.

During high season, he works 60+ hours a week since it’s easy for him to get more hours due to the amount of work.

However, during low seasons, it’s a miracle if he gets to 45-50 hours a week.

In low seasons, we have to accommodate our finances in order to pay for our bills and have a little extra money for whatever other expenses we may have/savings.

This woman mentioned their financial struggles to her dad.

I mentioned the small struggle during low season to my dad (54M), and he said he had the “perfect” way for me to get extra money.

He suggested taking care of my grandmother (90F) who is in the mid/later stages of dementia.

He is her main caregiver but he has two other siblings, one who is out of the country and the other one who isn’t.

I asked him about the details, and here is where I think it’s not a fair deal.

Here’s her dad’s offer…

He wants me to drive to his house everyday (a 1h15m drive if I go on a toll road, 2 hours if its a road w/o toll, so thats toll + gas) with both my kids (his house isn’t baby proofed).

Then, I’d cook breakfast and lunch for her, help her with bathroom duties, help her dress, etc. (She’s basically a big toddler and I say that with all the love in the world).

Then, pack everything up for the day and drive back home (because he isn’t even offering me to stay over, which I would’ve said no to regardless of him offering because of my husband and the fact that I want to sleep at home).

And then do it again Monday to Friday… all for a whopping $100 a week!

She refused the offer, then her dad called her ungrateful.

Now, I don’t want to seem ungrateful because it is monetary help, but I feel like its too much hastle and a bigger spending, especially with gas prices these days, doing all that for just $100.

I asked my mom (they’re divorced) who worked as an in-house nurse, and she tells me he’s ripping me off because $100 is what she would make daily.

Then, she calculated an estimate of gas + tolls round trip, and I would actually be making less than $50 a week.

I would understand and maybe even accept if I was desperate and if this was a once-in-a-while thing, like if he has to go somewhere he can’t take her or something.

But he just wants me to do it because he doesn’t want to anymore.

She felt the arrangement was really unfair.

So I turned him down, and he’s calling me not only ungrateful, but selfish too because “he’s not just gonna give me money without earning it.”

However, I never asked for that, nor would I ever (I hate owing people money or feeling like I owe them).

When I mentioned the low season money issue, it was just casual conversation because he asked how everything was going at home.

I love my grandmother, she took amazing care of me growing up, but this truly feels unfair. So, AITA?

We all know that caring for someone with advancing dementia requires demanding work, time, expenses, and energy. OP turned it down because it does not make sense financially for their family. But her dad’s unreasonable reaction seemed to make things worse.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a stepmom who says stepson isn’t doing enough, despite the fact that he’s working 12-hour shifts to pay for his own college.

Let’s see the comments of other Reddit users below.

It’s a hard no for this user.

Here’s a short and honest remark.

Another valid point.

This sounds more reasonable.

Finally, here’s a more realistic breakdown.

Being willing to help does not mean agreeing to an unfair deal.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a stepmom who says stepson isn’t doing enough, despite the fact that he’s working 12-hour shifts to pay for his own college.