One thing that men sometimes don’t realize about women is the pressure that we can feel when it comes to saying no – particularly to male advances. Of course, it’s every woman’s (and every man’s) right to say no, to reject someone’s approach, but in some situations that can feel much easier said than done.

This isn’t just a matter of protecting a person’s feelings – though if the suitor is someone close to you, or someone you know or see a lot – that can be a big factor too. Rather, this can be a safety issue. Because while the majority of emotionally mature, self-respecting men would humbly accept a woman’s rejection, then take a step back out of respect for them and their boundaries, a minority of men are, well, not that at all.

So when the woman in this story discovered that a man who had been acting friendly toward her for a long time actually had ulterior motives, she was understandably a little upset and confused. The whole time she’d just thought he was being nice. But when he tried to force an expensive gift on her alongside an illicit proposition, she knew she had to put some firm boundaries in place right away.

Doing so, however, might have cost her one of her closest friendships. Read on to find out why.

AITA for rejecting a birthday gift from my friend’s older brother because I felt like it came with strings attached?

I have been close friends with Maya for years.

I spend a lot of time at her place, so I know her family pretty well, including her older brother Daniel (29, male). We’ve always been friendly, nothing weird.

Over the past few months though, he started acting a little different. Complimenting me more, offering to drive me home even when I said I was fine, texting me occasionally (which he never used to do).

I didn’t think too much of it at first, just figured he was being nice.

But his niceness, it turned out, wasn’t as simple as it seemed.

My birthday was last week, and Maya invited me over for a small celebration with her and a couple of friends.

At some point, Daniel came in and handed me a gift. I was honestly surprised because I didn’t expect anything from him.

When I opened it, it was… pretty expensive. Like, way more than what you’d casually give your sister’s friend.

I felt uncomfortable immediately. I thanked him, but I guess my reaction wasn’t as enthusiastic as he expected.

And that wasn’t the end of this situation.

Later that night, he pulled me aside and basically said he hoped I understood what the gift meant, and that he’d like us to be a bit more than just friends.

He didn’t say anything explicit, but it was heavily implied he wanted a friends-with-benefits type situation.

That made me even more uncomfortable, so I told him I appreciated the gift but I wasn’t interested in anything like that.

I also said I didn’t feel right keeping something so expensive given the situation and tried to give it back.

Read on to find out how Daniel responded to that.

He got annoyed and said I was overthinking it and acting like he was some kind of creep. When I insisted, he took it personally and left the room.

Now Maya is upset with me because things are awkward in her house. She says I should’ve just accepted the gift and handled it better instead of rejecting him outright, because now her brother feels embarrassed.

I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t ask for the gift, and I definitely didn’t agree to anything attached to it. But now I’m wondering if I could’ve handled it differently.

AITA?

Yikes! Did Daniel really think he was being romantic here?

Sure, he might’ve thought that his intentions were clear from the beginning, but obviously they weren’t, because this long-time friend of his sister’s just thought he was being friendly.

And to use someone’s birthday to proposition them – not for a date, but to be friends with benefits? That’s not okay.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a kind man who helped a friend pack up items to donate, then realized she wanted to take back her “payment.”

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person explained that, despite what her friend might think, she’d done the right thing.

While others explained that rejecting someone’s advances is always okay.

Meanwhile, this Redditor had a similar story to share.

Listen. If the guy wasn’t a creep, he would have acted very differently in this situation. Sure, his ego got bruised by the girl he liked and had been pursuing in a way that only he could possibly realize, but the only gentlemanly thing to do in this situation – hurt or not – is to humbly accept the rejection and move on. Anything else risks becoming not only rude and demanding, but yes, creepy.

It’s a shame that Maya has turned on her friend too, when really she needs to hear out both sides and then remain neutral. It’s not worth losing a close friend over her brother’s failed attempts at seduction, especially since that friend did nothing but exercise her right to say no. Sure Maya might have heard the sob story from Daniel, but a good friend would notice that her friend’s behavior seemed out of character, and ask to understand. Instead, she is jumping to defend her brother, putting her firmly in the wrong camp too.

Hopefully after a little time (and hopefully, some understanding) things will clear up with Maya. As for Daniel? Well, he’s got a lot of work to do and lessons to learn if he wants to become the man that someone would want to date.