There’s little question about the fact that people tend to grow up a lot during their time at college. And that’s natural, after all, they’re spending the transition period from teen to adult years there, and learning to be an independent grown up too. Everything that a student might have relied on a parent for in the past – cooking meals, purchasing groceries, washing and drying laundry, cleaning their room – is now on them. At the same time, they’re studying their subjects in greater depth than they’ve ever done before, all whilst building new relationships with course mates, roommates, teammates – and maybe romantic partners too. It’s a lot all at once, but it’s a period of life that many would happily live over and over again.

But that doesn’t mean that students – even those in their final years at college – are fully mature and willing to make the best of decisions all the time. In fact, as the woman in this story describes, young adults can still be pretty mean and immature, particularly when they are in bigger groups. Because this woman thought she was developing a good friendship with her three roommates – but later down the line, that proved to be far from true.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for refusing to acknowledge my roommates’ existence?

I (22, female) live with three other girls my age (we’ll call them Ali, Chloe and Daisy). I moved into the house last year with my friend, and Ali and Daisy were already living in the house.

We didn’t know each other previous to moving in, we just liked the house and area and they needed two roommates.

Ali and Daisy were always cordial with us, but we didn’t really talk or hang out. They both talked a bit with me at the very end of the year but still, we were not very close.

In the summer though, I went and visited Daisy at her house and we had a great time.

But recently circumstances in the house have changed.

This year, my friend moved out to live with some girls in her sorority. I did not have another friend that wanted to move in, so Ali invited her friend Chloe to move in.

Chloe was very friendly and fun to be around. At the beginning of the year, everyone in our house would go out to dinner, go to parties, watch movies, and even have home-cooked dinner every Sunday with each of us switching weeks. We probably hung out one to three times a week.

Within the last month or so, Ali, Chloe and Daisy stopped inviting me to things with zero explanation. Daisy would still do things with me occasionally, but not often.

They even went to one of their friend’s friendgivings and told me I could not come since the host wanted it to be his friends only.

Sadly, this situation seems to just be getting worse.

Two days ago Ali, Chloe and Daisy got ready to go to a party then the bars after, neither of which they told me about. I asked if I could meet them at the bars (they definitely would’ve say no to the party; it’s an “invite only” frat).

Ali responded with “that’s fine”, which hurt me in it itself. Daisy said sure, which was nice.

Not even an hour later, they decided last minute to skip the bars and go to the party without telling me things changed. I hadn’t gotten ready yet and they knew this.

When Ali, Chloe and Daisy came back later, I was on the couch watching TV and none of us acknowledged each other’s existence. When they started talking to one another, I turned the TV up.

After this, this young woman has changed her stance on her roommates.

Since this has happened, I put all the cleaning supplies and paper towels I bought for the house in my room, took their things off my shelf in the refrigerator (we all have one shelf each and mine is the top; sometimes they will put a pizza box or pickle jars up there which annoys me but not enough to bring it up), and refused to do any after-party cleaning or chores the next day.

For the past two days, I have been mostly in my room with my barely door cracked for my cat to walk in and out. None of us have acknowledged each other’s existence, nor even looked at one another.

Ali, Chloe and Daisy are watching a movie downstairs as I type this. Am I wrong for completely ignoring them?

AITA?

The way that these roommates have suddenly started stonewalling this girl is completely unfair, and it’s understandable that she’s started doing the same to them.

It seems like something in the dynamic has shifted, and no one has told her – and that’s really unfair.

Ideally, she should find a happier place to live.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee whose dietary restrictions caused the whole office to turn against her.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought the roommates were the ones in the wrong.

While others thought she needed to confront the issue like a grown up.

Meanwhile, this Redditor could empathise.

There’s no doubt that ignoring people or pretending that they don’t exist is an immature behaviour. But how do you expect her to act when she’s suddenly been frozen out by people she thought were her friends, and she doesn’t know why? Ideally, at least before she takes any more drastic action, she’ll ask the roommates what’s going on – maybe she could just try to get a little time alone with Daisy, the woman she seems closest to. By trying to have an open conversation about the situation, she gives them the opportunity to respond as adults, at least.

It’s sad that her time at college is being affected in this way, especially since she and her cat have nowhere else to live if things do get bad between her and her roommates – and if they are trying to push her to move out, this could end messily. But hopefully this is just the immaturity of one ringleader (Ali perhaps, who has been relatively distant from the beginning) that will be ironed out when she tries to have an honest conversation with them. Because this? This is miserable.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who decided to stop returning his neighbor’s misplaced laundry after two years.