A wise man (often believed to be Theodore Roosevelt) once said that “comparison is the thief of joy.” And in our digital age, this has never been more true. After all, on your down days, you’ll know just how easy it is to be drawn to endlessly scrolling social media, subconsciously comparing your body, your home, your achievements to those of everyone on your social media feed. Without any consideration for other things going on in those people’s lives, it can be easy to feel even lower after doing so, wondering how you will ever measure up.

But the truth is, comparing your life to someone else’s is pointless – for several reasons. Not only are your contexts entirely different, so are your opportunities, your skillsets, even your genetics. Some people just look different to others – and there is very little that you can do about that fact. By embracing our own selves, our skillsets, our lives, things can look a lot better – and with this more upbeat perspective, we can start to feel joy for others again, rather than jealousy and frustration with ourselves.

It’s a positive message, of course, but it can still be tricky to implement – as the woman in this story found out. Her best friend – whose life once looked, on the whole, a lot worse than hers – is getting married. Meanwhile, this woman’s life isn’t panning out the way she might have wanted, and it’s hampering her ability to be happy for her friend to the extent that her friend has even picked up on it.

Read on to find out how things got so bad.

AITA for being jealous and unenthusiastic that my best friend is getting married?

I have known my best friend since college.

She used to be such a hot mess with guys and dating, and in general she had so many problems in life and was depressed – but in the past three years, her life has turned around so much and she is different than she used to be.

She is more social now, has a lot of friends, is getting married soon, travels a lot.

I am happy for her, but I also would be lying if I said that sometimes I’m not.

Let’s see why she isn’t always happy for her friend.

I have never had a relationship before, and I’m almost 27. While she is thriving in life, I just moved out of my parents’ house and am struggling to make friends.

It almost feels like we switched roles as in college – I used to be very popular and have a lot of friends while she was struggling in life. I do not want her to struggle in life, am but just pointing out a fact about how it used to be.

She made me her maid of honour and I am planning lots of things like her bachelorette, bridal shower, etc., and I have moments where I am so excited to plan it and be there for her. But a lot of times I feel bitter and unexcited about how much things are revolving around her, and I know she feels my energy too sometimes because there has been a bit of tension with us.

Am I wrong for not being the greatest friend during her wedding process? Anyone else ever felt this way?

AITA?

Honestly? If her friend who is getting married is picking up on her maid of honor’s negative energy, that must really suck. After all, she’s chosen someone she loves to play an important role in her wedding, and her lack of enthusiasm must feel at least a little upsetting.

But beyond the wedding, it really sounds like this woman might be dealing with some mental health struggles of her own. She is clearly at a difficult point in her life, and probably needs to open up to a friend for support.

The fact that she’s holding everything in is probably just making this all harder for everyone.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this post about a man who wants to report a coworker to HR over unprofessional behavior following a missed promotion.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person was not impressed by the woman’s behavior.

While others understood, but encouraged her to look at things from a different angle.

Meanwhile, this Redditor shared a similar situation along with some words of encouragement.

It’s clear that this woman is in a difficult place in her life, and is naturally feeling a little envious when it comes to her friend. It can be easy to compare ourselves and our lives to others’, especially if we’ve grown up following similar trajectories. But to take it so personally, and even resent being a maid of honor for her friend, seems very sad. If that is the way she feels, you have to question whether she should even be the maid of honor at all.

This is, hopefully, her best friend’s one and only wedding day – of course, following her one and only bachelorette party. It sounds like her best friend had a tough time growing up and has worked hard to turn her life around, so the very least she deserves is her loved ones around her actually supporting her during this special time in her life.

Instead, she has a maid of honor who is not really happy for her, because she’s using the occasion to highlight her own perceived shortcomings rather than focusing on her best friend’s joy. And that feels really sad.