Growing up in a family that struggles with money is hard, especially when those struggles are largely self-inflicted.

What would you do if throughout your childhood, your family was always very poor, often because of bad financial decisions your family made, but now that you are an adult, they are making you help to pay their debts?

That is what is happening to the young man in this story, and they are taking most of his paychecks and even discouraging him from going to university because they want him to keep paying for their expenses. He, however, is going against their wishes and attending school, but he wonders if he is out of line.

While helping family is great when you can do it, this situation makes it clear that his parents are the problem, and he needs to take care of himself. Read through the full details below and see what you think.

AITAH for refusing to help my parents’ debt and focus to go to university?

I am 19 now. My parents have been married for 25 years and ever since they got married, they never knew the worth of money.

Many people are terrible with money, which makes life hard.

Before I was born, a lot of debt collection notices from the government used to arrive at our house. It started my mother to start having panic attacks etc.

I grauted from highschool in 2024 when I was 17 yo. Just as soon as I graduated from highschool, I started working at industrial workfields.

Making kids pay for the debts of their parents is awful.

I worked my butt off and only got %10 of the money I earned, the rest went to my family to pay some debts.

My big brother wanted to marry the girl he only knew for two years. He kept pushing our family to marry him with no money. With NO money.

You would think that they would be happy he wanted to go to university.

And because my parents loved him more then they loved me, they accepted it no matter how difficult our financial situation was. Marrying in my country worths a lot, so many traditions had to be done.

So, I started saying to my family that I wanted to go to university because the later I go, the worse. I am young and I want to use the oppurtunity of it. All three of them said no.

He is an adult now; he should just go.

I kept changing jobs to get higher and higher salary, but I got so tired. A couple of hernias appeared in my spine. In November 2024 I was 18.

I kept saying my family that I HAD TO go to uni to at least save myself, and they still said no.

It is good to see that he is moving forward with his dream to go to university.

My big brother got married and still provoked my family to not send me to uni. He gossiped about me, made me cry a lot of times, became my very dissapointment.

In November 2025 I started studying for uni exams while they are still in a lot of debt because of the marriage of my brother caused. I worked so hard.

He has to put himself first in this situation.

This weekend I will go to exams. And my family still hates me that I made them say “no” to me and I know they won’t send me money while I’m in uni.

I will try to figure everything by myself. I feel so alone. I still feel sorry to see them try to work for debt while I’m studying for uni exams. And they are not gonna be able to pay it for like next 5 years or so.

AITA?

While there are clearly cultural things at play here, there is no doubt that his family does not have his best interests at heart. He is doing the right thing by going to university against their wishes.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend group that shattered over one couple wanting to bring their kids along on a long-standing annual trip.

Check out what the top commenters on this story had to say.

His family doesn’t care about his best interests.

This commenter is proud of his hard work even if his family isn’t.

Hopefully, this is not necessary. If it is, however, he should do it.

There is nothing to feel guilty about.

He has to start living his life for himself.

Even if his parents had good intentions, they were wrong, and their advice should be ignored. Going to university is likely this person’s only way out of poverty and debt, so he should take advantage of it while he can.

If he doesn’t go now, he will never escape this life. His parents will never be satisfied with how much he provides, so he needs to stop now.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a lifeguard who told one child they were too short for the slide, but struggled to convince them to follow the rules.