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Supporting a friend through a hard time is one thing, but supporting someone who won’t support themselves is another conversation entirely.

One high school student who watched a friend sit on her phone during every group study session and then complain loudly about failing after every exam found the whole dynamic exhausting over time.

The friend posted cryptic videos about being at her lowest, but never opened up when asked directly. She was happy with other people and miserable around this group for no clear reason.

The friend group had tried everything available to them and were running low on options. Even her closest friend had stopped engaging when the moods started.

This student starts to wonder if completely cutting her friend off is the only good option left.

You’ll want to keep reading for this one.

AITA for ignoring my friend when she’s sad?

So I’ve been getting pretty annoyed recently because she will get into these strange moods after exams when she’s around my friends and me, but then will go and hang out with a different group and be completely happy.

Her friend has a habit of posting all kinds of cryptic videos.

She then posts videos about how she was “at her lowest but nobody knew,” but never bothers to tell us anything when we continuously ask and try to comfort her, which puts us in a really awkward position.

It’s been especially more awkward recently since we’ve had some major exams, and after every single one she comes out in a stroppy mood, which brings us down because we’re happy we’re done.

She also notices that her friend doesn’t have a strong sense of accountability.

The thing is, she gets upset about not doing well, but whenever we all go to the library to study together she will sit there on her phone or make no effort at all to understand and take in any information we try to teach her.

But then we have to listen to her complain about how she will fail and won’t get into university.

This teen has tried the gentle approach with her friend, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

We’ve tried to comfort her and help countless times, but honestly she just doesn’t put in the effort and it shows.

I know what it’s like to struggle with learning, but there’s a difference between that and knowing you struggle yet refusing to put in effort anyway.

So what else can we do?

She’s starting to lose patience with the whole thing, and so have several other people in her social circle.

It’s become very tiring for all of us and we’re done with it.

Even her best friend straight up ignores her when she’s in a mood now because there’s no point complaining about something that already happened.

At the same time, her friend doesn’t seem to actually want change.

But if we’ve given her the solutions to her problems, there’s not much more we can do.

I try to comfort her and reassure her, but she seems to ignore it and look to someone else to complain to, as if she wants to blame something else for her actions.

I feel bad not saying anything to her, but it seems as if she doesn’t want to help herself.

AITA?

Sounds like this friend is going to have to learn some hard lessons.

What did Reddit make of this debacle?

This commenter thinks they know what this friend really wants.

This user saw what they needed to see in the first paragraph of this story.

It’s no fun to be around a Debbie Downer all the time.

This redditor also isn’t impressed by this friend’s childish behavior.

There’s a limit to how much a friend group can do for someone who isn’t doing anything for themselves, and this one has clearly reached it.

Sitting on your phone during study sessions and then posting online about silent suffering rather than talking to the people asking directly is a pattern that burns goodwill fast.

The poster isn’t being cruel by pulling back. She’s being honest about what’s actually available to give. You can hand someone every tool they need and still not be able to make them use it.

The friend knows where to find them if she decides she wants real support instead of an audience.

This friend doesn’t want help — she wants attention.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a high school student whose manager insists on scheduling them during school hours.