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There’s a difference between being asked your opinion and being informed of a plan that’s already underway.
One man’s girlfriend repeatedly hounded him about her sibling moving in with them for two years during her master’s program, a question that turned out to be less hypothetical than expected once he learned her family was already planning around the arrangement.
He said no clearly, pointing out how differently his girlfriend would react if his own brother suggested the same thing.
Still, his girlfriend’s family pleaded, offering rent money in return, but still he wouldn’t budge.
Now he’s anxious that saying no will make him the villain in a decision he genuinely believes is his to make.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA My girlfriend’s sister wants to move in and I won’t change my mind.
There’s a high probability that my girlfriend’s sister will want to move in for two years, until she finishes her master’s degree.
A couple weeks ago, GF asked me: “What would you say if X moved in with us?”
“Absolutely not. How would you react if my brother wanted to do that?”
To his girlfriend, letting her sister move in is no big deal.
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
They don’t see it as a problem because they used to live together as adults. Even their mother is already preparing for this and planning their life around this decision.
So the unrelenting pressure continued.
Today we’re seeing X, and she asked the same question, and I refused in the same way.
Then I tried to avoid the topic and added that she would have a long commute ahead of her (120km), and it would surely make her exhausted, especially during winter, and I know what I’m talking about because I’ve commuted to work by train for two years, almost two hours each way.
The more the sister pushes, the more he pushes back.
The sister says she’d contribute to the bills and pay us “rent,” but that’s not my issue. I didn’t get a 30-year obligation to limit my privacy, might as well move in with the rest of the family.
On one hand, all money she would give us would go to excess mortgage payments, but on the other, I find it not worth it and I feel like her living here would lead to conflicts.
I’m afraid they (GF as well as her part of the family) won’t respect my decision and I will be seen as the bad guy.
AITA?
Saying yes would be a huge commitment, so he’s right to be wary of it.
What did Reddit have to say?
This user worries this may already be a foregone conclusion for this girlfriend.
One of the girlfriend’s responses revealed everything about her stance.
This commenter takes issue with logistics.
And some sage relationship advice.
If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a student who did the math and figured out he was better off skipping school than serving detention if he forgot his ID.
A hypothetical question that turns out to have a whole family plan already built around it isn’t really a question at all, it’s a soft rollout of a decision he was never actually part of making.
Saying no once should’ve been enough, and saying it a second time directly to the sister makes his position pretty unambiguous.
Rent money doesn’t fix the actual issue here, since privacy in your own home for two years isn’t something that gets bought back with monthly payments.
The real problem here is how little his girlfriend respects his boundaries.