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Going on a family vacation should be fun for everyone.

What would you do if your wife wanted to go on the exact same trip with your in-laws every year, but you were getting tired of it?

That is what the husband in this story is dealing with, and now she agreed to do the same trip again this year, so he put his food down. He said he wouldn’t waste his vacation days on this trip, but would come on the last couple of days to be with the family. Now they are fighting about it.

Both of them are acting poorly in my opinion. They need to step back and get on the same page. Read through the full details below and see if you agree.

AITA for refusing to go for a full week on my wife’s family vacation after we had agreed not to repeat it?

For years, my wife, our two kids, and I went to the same beach town for a week with part of my wife’s family: her brother, SIL, their kids, and her mom.

Even the most enjoyable things can get old.

We originally did this because another sibling’s family lived there, so it was a chance for all the cousins to be together.

The issue is that the trip became extremely repetitive and rigid. Same beach, same street, same basic schedule, same restaurants/meals on the same days, strict quiet times/bedtimes, very little flexibility.

Everyone likes different things when it comes to vacations.

My wife’s family is very routine-driven and frugal. My family is structured too, but on vacation we like variety, activities, and some flexibility.

When the other sibling’s family still lived there, there was more balance. Once they stopped going, it became just us and the routine-driven side.

Going outside the plan is just what is needed.

The last couple years were miserable. The houses got smaller while the kids got bigger, the routine became more rigid, our kids were bored and stir-crazy, and I ended up trying to take them out to do things just to break up the week.

That caused tension because I was “going outside the plan.” My wife was also stressed and admitted afterward that the trip was no longer enjoyable.

So much for being on the same page.

After the last trip, my wife and I had a long conversation and agreed we would not do that same vacation again. We talked about trying something different: mountains, lake, different beach, really anything else.

Recently, my wife handed me her phone and asked which vacation house was nicer. It was the same beach, same street, basically the same exact trip again. I was angry because I thought we had already agreed this was done..

Do they really have to go with the extended family?

Her explanation is that her mom said this location is sentimental to her and that she wanted all the grandkids together there.

Her brother’s family agreed immediately. My wife says it was “this or nothing,” so she chose this because getting Grandma and the grandkids together was important to her.

I don’t think this is a good way to plan vacations.

She has already fully committed herself and our kids to going for the full week, and she assumed I would eventually just agree and go too.

My issue is that I feel like her mom and brother made the decision, my wife accepted it, and I was informed after the fact.

Skipping most of a family vacation is not really a good move.

I told her I felt betrayed and isolated because we had already agreed as a couple not to repeat this trip. She keeps circling back to “this is important to me, why won’t you just do it for me?”

We’ve been fighting for a solid week about it, so I offered a compromise – I said that because it’s become so important to her, I’d come for the last two nights.

They both need to take a step back and get on the same page.

She has committed herself and the kids for the full week. Now she says that since she knows I don’t want to be there, I’ve ruined it, and asks why I have to “act like this.”

She has also brought it up around the kids, so now they know there is conflict.

He really doesn’t want to go on this trip.

I am not trying to stop the kids from seeing their grandmother. I am not saying no to them going.

I am saying no to spending a full week of my vacation time repeating the exact trip we already agreed was bad for our family.

AITA?

Neither of them should be making final decisions like this one on their own. They need to find a way to get on the same page when it comes to family vacations.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

I agree with this commenter.

His wife was out of line.

This commenter says that his wife is a manipulator.

He needs to stand up for himself and the kids according to this commenter.

This is not a bad idea.

When you’re married, you need to be on the same team with your spouse. These two are clearly competing rather than collaborating, and that is never a good thing.

She can’t expect him to keep going on a vacation he hates, though. They should talk about this and come up with a compromise. It may not be easy.