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Owning a cottage is great, and splitting it up between your siblings can make it much more affordable.

What would you do if you and your sister-in-law had disagreements over how to manage the cottage after your father passed away?

That is the situation that the woman in this story is in, and it is causing drama within the family, so she has offered to buy out their share, but isn’t sure if she is handling it well.

Read through all the details below and see what you think the family should do.

AITA for wanting to take over the role of cottage manager for our family cottage after my dad died?

Some back story. I(f50) am the oldest of 5. All married with kids/grandkids.

Owning a cottage with family can be great, but it can also cause problems.

Me, siblings and our parents, have owned a cottage for about 20 years. We have each paid into the mortgage and expenses and maintenance equally over the years and have had equal access.

We even try to all go together as an entire group once every few years and generally all get along well.

It is hard when money is tight.

My one brother (39) and SIL (36) have 4 kids own a tent trailer sleep in it when there isn’t room for all of us.

She’s a SAHM and he works a blue-collar job, so I know they’ve often struggled financially. There were times they asked my parents to cover them on our annual cottage payments.

Having one person in charge actually makes things run more smoothly.

My dad has been the patriarch of the cottage. In that, decisions about the cottage were ultimately his. Everyone would give input or share ideas of what we should be doing with it but he would always have the final say.

SIL has been helping my dad over the years with renting it out in an effort to cut our yearly costs.

Managing a rental cottage isn’t easy.

I was never a fan of sharing with strangers, but dad was on board, so I stayed out of it. My dad became ill over the pandemic, so SIL took over on all the renting.

She has complained on occasion about how much work it is these last 2 years to oversee all the cottage business.

If she doesn’t like doing it, she should share the load.

Admittedly, I don’t know what’s involved, but she’s been acting like it’s a full-time job. I have tried to get involved more.

I suggested hiring a company to look after rentals and cleaning between tenants. But she doesn’t want to add another expense.

What’s the point of owning a cottage if you can’t use it when you want?

Last year there was a scheduling mix up and she had to refund a renter because my family was going that week. I know to her and my brother, the renter’s rule and they have reworked their vacations around them, but I feel as owners we should get first dibs.

I can tell she’s angry every time I bring up anything to do with the cottage.

Heartbreaking, but this will make it easier to maintain without the money issues.

It was around this time that my dad passed. His insurance payout was larger than anyone knew and my mom decided to pay off the cottage mortgage and to put the rest into the cottage account.

We all thought this was a great way to honor him since the cottage was so important to him.

I think the sister-in-law wants to make money off of the cottage.

We have decided to use the extra money on some renovations AND there is no longer any need for renters.

SIL is not happy with this. She says yearly expenses are around $5000 and increase yearly.

These two have very different priorities.

I think she’s exaggerating, but even so our yearly payments would be way lower than they used to be with no mortgage.

However, every purchase made or bit of construction started she wants to question if it was needed or wants to cheap out.

Why does this sibling get to dictate who the manager of the cottage is?

I’ve basically told her that I’m the new manager, so I get final say in all decisions and she’s been silent since.

My mom and other siblings are on my side, but it has caused a huge rift with my brother and SIL.

If they don’t want to be involved, this would be a good solution.

I’ve asked to buyout my brother and he is considering it. I can’t think of another solution at this point.

AITA?

Jointly owning a cottage like this is great, but it almost always leads to family conflict, unfortunately.

Take a look at what the people in the comments have to say about the situation below.

Getting a good look at the books is a great first step.

Here is an interesting perspective.

This commenter says that her brother is getting sidelined.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who wants her daughter to help pay for her own cell phone, but her daughter says she can’t force her to get a job.

Managing a property is hard work.

The siblings need to handle this.

When it comes to managing the cottage, they need to get on the same page right away. This type of family conflict can cause a lot of drama, and even push family members apart.

It is a difficult situation, but one that they can’t just ignore. Maybe it is time to have the family vote on how to move forward.