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Some family traditions are worth honoring. Others are worth questioning out loud the second they come out of someone’s mouth, and one 20-year-old chose the second option.

Her mom announced that her entire first salary should go to her parents, with an “allowance” doled back out afterward. She framed it as simply how things are done in her culture.

So when her daughter reacted with genuine disbelief, her mom backpedaled fast, claiming she was only joking. But this claim didn’t quite hold up given her track record of already pulling money out of her daughter’s bank account without permission.

Suddenly this family was trapped in a toxic back and forth.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA – For not giving up my salary

So my mum said I should give her and my dad my first salary and that out of the salary she will give me allowance.

I asked her if she was okay in the head. I know that I shouldn’t have said that. She said that’s how it’s done in her culture.

The two then spiraled into a huge fight.

We started having our argument and she said that she was just joking. She said, “Why would she ask me for my money when she can work?”

I told her she wasn’t joking and that when she says stuff she should take accountability.

This wasn’t the first time her mom has crossed a financial boundary.

Because I know her, the same woman who was asking for 1k and took 500 out of my bank account.

I told her that I don’t mind paying the rent since I’m still living at home. Actual proper rent money compared to what I’m paying now.

For context, I’m 20, soon finishing school.

Her mom still wasn’t getting it at all.

She then started praying in her language, saying “God forbid” that she will beg money from me or that she becomes dependent on me. She started praying, saying “God forbid” she will be asking money from me so that she will eat. She specifically said my name.

My oldest sister was like, “Why can’t she depend on me? I’m the youngest child.”

Her sibling needs to either pay up or stay out of it.

What did Reddit have to say?

This young woman deserves financial independence.

This commenter sees right through the mother’s tricks.

It’s time to start taking steps towards more independence.

Her mom may just be trying to see how hard she can push.

Backtracking with “I was just joking” only works if there isn’t already a documented pattern proving otherwise.

This mother basically stole $500 from her own daughter, so the lack of trust here is completely understandable.

If there’s any silver lining to this situation, it’s that this argument laid bare just how comfortable her mother has gotten grossing her boundaries. If she ever wants to become an independent person, she’s going to have to leave this house behind and start forging her own path.

Taking money from your own family is never okay.