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When you buy a new home, you will undoubtedly have a lot of things that need to get done, so it is great when family can pitch in and help.

What would you do if your mother kept coming over to help, but she only wanted to do things her own way, even when it did not line up with what you wanted at all?

That is the situation that the daughter in this story is facing, so now every time her mother comes over, they end up getting into a fight, and she wants to find a way to stop it without giving in on what she wants for the house.

Personally, I think she needs to set some real boundaries with Mom and enforce them if she tries to do things her own way. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.

AITAH for not letting my mom help me with my new home?

I (25 F) just bought a house.

Wow, what an exciting event.

I got it practically new, it has a huge basement, a nice back yard, a garage, and I got it for relatively cheap so I’m super excited to start putting my personality into it. My family is also very excited, particularly my mom (55 F).

I have depression and I am medicated for it, but sometimes I get a bit lethargic and slow and I am not as productive as most people. My family is made up of busy bodies and go getters, and my mom has a battery that never runs out.

I assume that her Mom has the best of intentions.

She likes to come sleep over some weekends and thinks of my house as her “vacation”, and I’ve never had a problem with that. But while she is here, she feels the need to “fix” things, or help out in ways that I generally do not want.

I have asked her repeatedly for what feels like years to please respect the boundaries that I have set and to not do anything to my place that I don’t ask her to do, or that she doesn’t ask me to do.

Mom seems to be overly sensitive.

Well, recently every time she is here we have gotten into a fight. The first was because she was criticizing all of the changes I wanted to make (paint colors, furniture, selling some of my old stuff, etc.).

When I was younger she gave me a sleigh bed headboard that she really liked, and I wanted to sell it because it was too big for this new place. She saw that as me rejecting her gift and felt I needed to keep it because it was from her and she loves that bed.

I told her she could have it if she didn’t want me to sell it, and eventually I got her to take it.

It is beyond time for some firm boundaries.

The second was because she decided she was going to bring a bunch of furniture she found on Facebook marketplace without telling me as a surprise.

I am currently trying to get rid of some of my furniture, so that I can see what I like, so I really don’t want more stuff I don’t want. All of the stuff she was going to bring was exactly what I have always said I did not like lol.

This is not her yard; she needs to back off.

The third was because she wanted to plant a tree in my back yard. I want to get into gardening and want to plant my own stuff when I feel I have the time and energy to do so.

She feels that because she already has a bunch of plants and knows a lot about them, she should start doing it. She wanted to plant a fruit tree in my yard and I told her no, and that led to a very large fight between me and both of my parents.

She isn’t helping; she is being overbearing, which can cause even more stress.

There are a bunch more that have happened every time she has come here. She feels I am ungrateful for all that she is trying to do for me, and thinks that she is making my life easier.

I feel like she is not respecting my boundaries, and I just want to take my time to do what I want with MY house.

She isn’t overreacting at all.

Am I overreacting, should I let her do what she wants? I am tired of fighting and spending my weekends upset.

AITA?

Nope. Even if Mom has the best of intentions, she is crossing the line and causing problems. This daughter needs to set some very firm boundaries and really enforce them.

Read on to see what the people in the comments think about this situation.

I agree with what this commenter has to say.

This sounds absolutely awful.

Yup, she can’t come over if she won’t respect the boundaries.

Clear boundaries must be in place.

I agree with this commenter.

Mom may be trying to help, but she is just making homeownership miserable. If her Mom won’t respect her boundaries, then she needs to stop letting her come over.

This may be harsh, but it would likely prevent fights going forward.