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When planning a birthday dinner for someone, it is generally accepted that you have the meal at the birthday person’s favorite restaurant.

What would you do if you found out that your Mom planned a birthday dinner for your aunt, but she picked a restaurant that she knows your aunt doesn’t really like?

That is what happened in this story, so the daughter called her Mom out for this rude move, but her Mom claims that she was planning and paying for it; therefore, she gets to choose the restaurant.

I think the mom is way out of line, and the daughter did the right thing when she called her out. Read through the full story below and see what you think about it.

My mom changed my aunt’s birthday dinner to a restaurant she preferred and I called her out. AITAH

Yesterday my mom (62F) invited me (25F) to a Thai restaurant for my aunt’s 73rd birthday. It was my aunt’s actual birthday.

Well, that is a simple mistake.

When I arrived, there were about 8 other family members there… but my aunt, the birthday girl, was nowhere to be found.

We called her and found out she was sitting at a completely different Thai restaurant. She came right over when she realized everyone was waiting at the other place.

Apparently, it was an easy mistake to make.

When she walked in, she looked disappointed and sad, which honestly made me feel bad.

Later that day at my son’s T-ball game, I was talking with my husband , and I was joking that someone was bound to end up at the wrong Thai restaurant because the names were similar.

Choosing a restaurant that the birthday girl didn’t want is just rude.

That’s when my mom said, “Well, my sister and I were discussing where to go for her birthday, but she wanted to go to the other Thai restaurant because it’s her favorite. I didn’t want to go there because they switched owners and I don’t think the food is good anymore.”

I was shocked and said, “Mom, if Aunt wanted to go to that restaurant and was sitting there waiting for all of us to show up, then that’s on you for telling everyone to go somewhere else just because you don’t like it.”

This is very selfish.

I told her that my aunt looked disappointed and sad when she arrived because she didn’t get to celebrate her birthday at her favorite restaurant.

My mom responded, “I don’t care. If I’m paying for a meal, I want to enjoy it. I’m not giving my money to a restaurant I don’t like. I invited you and your cousin, and if you invite someone to dinner, you have to pay for them.”

Her paying for it is really not relevant.

She also told me that I didn’t really have a right to say anything because she paid for my meal since she invited me. And while I am genuinely grateful that she paid for my dinner, I don’t think that means I have to ignore the fact that my aunt didn’t get to spend her birthday at the restaurant she had chosen and was actually sitting at waiting for everyone.

But here’s the thing: she didn’t even pay for my aunt’s meal, despite it being her birthday and despite being the one who organized the dinner. So her argument that she should get to choose because she was paying didn’t really make sense to me.

Of course the birthday person should choose the restaurant.

She continued defending herself and genuinely believes she did nothing wrong. Eventually, I said, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore because it was making me frustrated.”

My husband heard the entire conversation and agreed with me that the birthday person should have gotten to choose the restaurant, especially since my mom knew beforehand which restaurant my aunt wanted.

She isn’t overreacting. This is clearly an issue with her mom.

I think what’s bothering me the most is that my mom still doesn’t see anything wrong with what she did. I’m frustrated because this is a pattern with her. She often puts her own preferences first and then acts like everyone else is unreasonable for being upset.

I know some people might think I’m overthinking this or making a big deal out of a restaurant, but this is something my husband and I have noticed happens often.

I think she did the right thing by calling her mom out.

It’s not really about the Thai food, it’s about a repeated pattern where my mom puts her own wants first, even during events that are supposed to be about someone else.

So, am I wrong for calling her out and saying she made my aunt’s birthday about herself?

Her mother is rude, and it isn’t just a one-time thing, so I think she was right to call her out. In the future, maybe she should make the plans and leave Mom out of it.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

Maybe there is some conflict between Mom and the Aunt.

This commenter says she would have gone home if she were the aunt.

What Mom is doing is very selfish.

Her mother is a real piece of work.

I think this would be the right thing to do.

Mom is acting very selfishly here, and she should get called out on it. It seems that this is a common occurrence with her, though, so maybe it is time to stop letting her plan events like this.

I think this young lady should bring her aunt to her favorite restaurant. I feel bad for the aunt.