Site icon TwistedSifter

His Friend Wants to Move Out of State for University to Escape His Unsupportive Parents — He Thinks It’s a Mistake and Is Afraid to Say So

Stubborn young man

Shutterstock

When you live with unsupportive or even abusive parents, it can seem like a good idea to move far away as soon as possible.

What would you do if you had a friend who was planning on moving away to get away from his parents, but due to his mental health issues, you don’t think that it is a good idea?

That is the situation that the guy in this story is in, but he is not sure if he is out of line for telling his friend that moving so far away is a bad idea.

Personally, I think that he has to be honest with his friend and express his concerns in the nicest way he can. If his friend doesn’t listen, then he should just try to be supportive if anything goes wrong.

WIBTA if I tell my depressed friend with unsupportive parents that I also dont support him after he got accepted to his dream school?

Okay so, my friend Kyle just turned 18 and through the course of last year they got a job, got his first girlfriend, switched to online school in order to graduate faster, and he got accepted into the school of his dreams!

Maybe a big change in his life will help him.

I am honestly very proud of him. However, he is chronically depressed and takes medication.

His basically lifelong therapist recently moved away and he hasnt visited a therapist since. I’m not too worried since he seems happy and takes his medication.

In this situation, moving away sounds like a great opportunity.

Honestly, most of his problems stem from his awful family, or his problems are at the very least enhanced by them.

Theres nothing wrong with his family, they are good people and dont physically abuse him and try to give him all the love they can give him. The problem is that his mom is completely unsupportive about anything and genuinely doesnt support him.

I’m sure that this was very scary for his family.

He had a major depressive episode a couple years ago and his mom hasn’t really recovered from that, in her eyes he is still that helpless child who never got the help he needed.

The idea of him moving halfway across the country to a school where he’ll have no support is terrifying to her. She flat out said that he will not be attending and that she wont help support his decision to go to this school.

He is still struggling with some issues.

See the problem is that I’m on the same page as his mom. I genuinely don’t believe that my friend is ready to leave. Out of everything that he had going for him last year, almost all of it has gotten ruined.

He got fired from his job and was jobless up untill this year, his girlfriend broke up with him, he switched online schools like 3 times, and is now not on track to graduate on time (he is currently trying to fit a whole semester, in the next 2 weeks), and he has almost no money saved away for a school hes going to attend in 3 months!

Maybe he is rushing into this.

He doesnt have scholarships either. In fact, instead of saving up for the school hes saving up to visit his childhood friend in Oregon instead!

This entire situation is stressing me out, he is not emotionally or financially ready to move to a university halfway across the country and live alone.

Going into debt is a horrible way to start your adult life.

I’ve asked him and his entire plan is literally just “I’ll just get in debt” but that’s not a plan!!

On top of that when I ask him why he wants to attend this particular university he literally just says “because it’s far away from my family”, that’s not a real reason to go to a school!

This is a good suggestion, in my opinion.

I’m not sure what to do, on one hand I’m his only emotional support left; on the other hand, I can’t support such a reckless decision.

I’ve suggested going to a community college and just moving out as it would be cheaper and he would have his group of friends to fall back on.

Telling him his honest opinion is a good thing, even if his friend doesn’t listen.

His dad said that he would help going to a local college for a year so he can prove that he will be fine by himself but my friend refuses any idea that involves not going to this university.

Trending and Popular

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose in-laws are shocked and dismayed when she finally chooses to spend time with her own mother instead.
Read The Drama

Would I be wrong if I told him I dont support his plan to leave?

WIBTA?

His friend seems to be locked in on the idea of moving across the country, so it will be hard to change his mind. Expressing concerns while being there if things go wrong is about all that this person can do.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

Here is someone who says he should just support his friend.

This commenter says he is being a good friend.

It is unlikely that his friend will listen. Just be there to help when it goes badly.

I agree with this. If he doesn’t move far away, he should at least get away from his parents.

This person thinks that he should be proud of his friend. Maybe moving away will be a good thing.

Helping a friend can be difficult when they seem to be making bad choices. I think he is wise to try to talk him out of it, but if his friend doesn’t listen, he should remain supportive.

If he moves across the country and runs into problems, he is going to need a good friend more than ever. Hopefully, everything goes well.

Trending and Popular

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose friends say he’s privileged for wanting to eat at nicer restaurants.
Read The Drama
Exit mobile version