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Vacations can be a lot of fun, but for many people, they can be frustrating as well.

What would you do if your in-laws were paying for you and your wife to come on a family vacation, but they wouldn’t give you the full itinerary, and when you asked questions, they got annoyed?

That is what happened to the guy in this story, and his wife got upset with him when they got home because her family didn’t like the way he was acting. He thinks they are all poor communicators and that it is their fault.

Personally, I think that there is plenty of blame to go around, as is usually the case. Read through the full story and see what you think.

AITAH My wife is mad at me because of how her in-laws reacted to me.

My in laws invited me to join them on a vacation out of country, which I voiced my gratitude for several times.

You can’t complain about a free trip.

During the planning I didn’t have much of a say in what happened or when, which sucked but I wasn’t paying for the trip, so I wasn’t super upset about it.

While we were on the vacation I had a lot of questions about what we were doing, both out of excitement and curiosity, and I made her family upset because there was a schedule and I should know. (Something that was never shared with me)

I can see how this would be frustrating.

My wife was incessant that I should direct all my questions about events towards her, but after a few days she answered most of them with “idk” and moved on.

So, I started asking her older sister, who organized every activity.

Some families hate conflict.

I found out today that me asking her questions about what was happening made her very mad at me a few days in, but she never made any attempt to communicate her frustrations, just held them in and expected me to adjust my behavior. (This is a trend in her family)

We (wife and I) just had a fight because I didn’t ask her everything or look at the schedule (something ineffective and something I didn’t have) and when I told her that she clearly wasn’t any more aware of anything than me, and that the woman that planned the whole thing ought to know more she got more upset.

You can’t expect everyone in a family to communicate the way that you do.

She says I didn’t trust her enough with anything, and that me upsetting her family is because I refuse to learn how they communicate.

Is my perspective skewed in thinking that it’s up to an adult to communicate their feelings?

Just because her family doesn’t functionally communicate anything, (very toxic communicators actually) shouldn’t mean that I should adjust and stoop to that level, right?

Or am I being too prideful being that communication is literally my profession. I don’t want to be too rigid but I feel like they are the problem if they choose not to communicate and react anyway.

AITA?

Yup, I wonder this as well.

This is information that he should share.

Asking too many questions is annoying.

The family really should have given him the itinerary.

This is a good question.

Sure, it can be annoying when you don’t know what the plans are, but they are paying for everything, so just sit back and enjoy it. He really can’t expect to change the way that family communicates, and if his wife asked him not to keep asking questions, he should have stopped.

This guy gets annoyed by not having enough info. They get annoyed by lots of questions. They all just need to relax and enjoy their vacation.