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Parents naturally want their children to build secure futures, but problems can start when those plans leave no room for what the child actually wants.

Now picture being a teenager whose older brother was always treated like the golden child, only for your parents to suddenly transfer all of their expectations onto you.

At the center of this story is a 16-year-old who finally tells his parents that their second chance at success cannot come at the cost of his own future.

Let’s see how this tension unfolds.

AITAH for telling my parents I’m NOT the backup child and REFUSING to take over my brother’s future???

As you can see, the question itself is pretty loaded.

Let’s dive in:

So I (16M) have an older brother (19M) who was like the golden child growing up.

Straight A’s, varsity, honor roll, all that stuff.

My parents basically shaped their whole lives around his success, college savings, private tutors, weekend review centers, all of it.

And unfortunately, to what should have been nobody’s surprise…

Then… he crashed and burned.

Got a girl pregnant, dropped out, and now he’s working random jobs and living back at home.

It sucks, yeah, but like… I get it, life happens.

Now they’re calling in the bench-warmer.

But ever since then, my parents have started shoving all their expectations on me.

Suddenly I’m being told I need to take nursing “because it’s safe” even though I’ve said a million times I wanna do something in media or design.

They pulled me out of the art elective I LOVED and now I’m doing advanced science I didn’t even sign up for.

Last week, they said they were “reallocating” my kuya’s unused college funds to put ME through the same school THEY picked for him. Not asking me.

And lest you think they’re doing this all subconsciously, nope, they know exactly what they’re doing.

Just straight up told me: “You’re our only shot now. You have to make it.” I SNAPPED.

I said, “I’m not your second chance. I’m your son, not your backup plan.”

My mom started crying.

My dad got quiet and said I was “being ungrateful” and that I “should feel lucky” they’re even trying to help.

Now the house is super tense and my kuya texted me like “Bro, just do what they say. You’ll thank them later.”

But I don’t want their version of my future. I just want to live my OWN.

aitah for rejecting the life they planned for me even though they’re “just trying to help” after everything fell apart???

Here’s what the comments made of this:

Doesn’t seem like YOU’RE thanking them, though…

There are cultural elements at play.

Then there’s this response…

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a disabled driver who gets revenge on a woman who took a handicapped spot.

More than anything, this story shows how damaging it can be when parents treat one child like a replacement for another instead of respecting who they actually are.

With a little more listening and a lot less pressure, they might have helped their son plan a realistic future without taking away the classes and interests that made him happy.

Whether they truly learned anything remains to be seen, but being told that your child feels like a backup plan should be a serious wake-up call.

I would keep standing firm, but keep it respectable.