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If you’ve ever watched an episode of Hoarders, you’ll know just how bad things can get. Usually a symptom or offshoot of a mental of physical health condition, some people love to collect, and then end up holding on to more and more things, often because they can’t bring themselves to throw things away, or they believe that the items will be helpful in the future.

The theory is solid, but it can lead to a depressing existence where more and more objects accumulate until things are out of control.

Fortunately for this family in this story, things aren’t that bad. These new parents keep a lovely, albeit small, home with their young child.

However, the grandparents’ house is a little different, since the grandfather has been collecting useful objects for years, and now, he’s realized that the new parents could use them much better than he could.

Read on to find out how this is causing friction in the family.

AITA for not wanting my father-in-law to keep leaving useless stuff at our house?

I (female, 34) have been with my husband (male, 36) for seven years, married for two, and we have a six-month-old.

His parents are good people and our families get along.

His dad was mainly the stay-at-home parent and is now retired, I guess. His mum still works full-time.

His dad is a little quirky and, in my opinion, very likely has autism and/or ADHD, etc., but I’m obviously not an expert, so I’m just theorising.

They’re kind of tight on space.

Two years ago, we bought our first home, which was super exciting, but it is a small house with not a lot of storage.

The addition of our baby has, of course, made space even more limited.

This is not a problem; however, my mother-in-law, or more so my father-in-law has a tendency to bring over random items to give us that we really don’t need, don’t want, and don’t have room for.

Let’s see what kind of items the in-laws bring round.

These items include thirty-year-old baby monitors, even though we have a new one and I specifically said, “No thank you, we don’t need it.” He also brings us lots of very random instructional-style books that we do not need and will never read, along with other random items that he thinks we could use.

To be clear, they aren’t buying us things. He is finding decades-old items in their storage or clutter and basically dumping them onto us.

The hard part is that he, of course, means well, and they are mostly small items, but it all adds up into useless clutter, and they’re just kind of junk that he is sifting through and getting rid of.

My husband or I have occasionally said we don’t need a given item, and my father-in-law seems to basically be like, “Well, I don’t want it,” and just leaves it here. The most recent visit involved five old parenting books – and it’s basically every time they visit, which is regularly.

Understandably, this new mom is getting frustrated about this.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m getting super frustrated, but I don’t know how to handle it.

My husband is sometimes a bit too easy-going, so he never says anything and doesn’t see the issue.

I have tried to kindly explain to him that he knows we’ll never use this stuff and we don’t have room for random things cluttering up our house, but he immediately gets defensive, as I think he feels I’m criticising his parents or being ungrateful.

If it were my parents, I’d just ask them to stop bringing random things over and to ask first if there’s something they think we might want. Am I wrong for wanting to put my foot down on this?

AITA?

It sounds like this father-in-law has been hoarding for decades, and has finally found a use for his stuff, or rather, he believes he has. Because the truth is, these items are not useful to the folk he’s giving them to at all.

Given that he means well, and probably genuinely thinks he’s being helpful, it’s understandable that they’re having a hard time telling him no.

But honestly, they can’t simply keep accommodating his junk. He needs to get the message now.

Let’s see what folk on Reddit made of this.

This person thought they should be ruthless with the items they neither want nor need.

While others thought she should be firmer with her father in law and with her husband.

Meanwhile this Redditor, who had been in a similar situation, explained how she dealt with things.

When someone has spent their whole life hoarding, it can be devastating to learn that all the objects they’ve kept ‘in case they come in handy later’ are basically useless. It means that their life’s work has been for nothing, so many choose not to accept that fact at all. Because we all like to feel like we have purpose in life, and like we’re making a difference to others, and with that in mind, it’s no wonder he’s in denial, because it would be truly upsetting to learn that the objects you’re so sure will help someone out are actually proving to be quite a hindrance to them.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a disabled driver who gets revenge on a woman who took a handicapped spot.

Regardless of this, they can’t keep humoring him, or if they do, they need an understanding of what that looks like. Do they thank him for the items, and then put them in the trash or donate them when he’s gone? Some might say that’s the best port of call, but it feels very inauthentic.

Do they stand firm and refuse the items, risking upsetting him? It’s the most honest but least sensitive option.

Or do they accept that their house is going to be forever accumulating more and more of his junk? Obviously not.

It’s a really tough situation, with no good answer.