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Sending a gift when you can’t attend an event isn’t just good etiquette. It’s the most basic way of saying “I care about your milestone even though I can’t be there.”

One pregnant woman’s best friend understood that perfectly when she missed the baby shower for her honeymoon and sent a generous gift anyway. The wife, who missed the wedding due to being seven months pregnant, sent nothing in return.

No gift, no card, not even a congratulatory text that carried any weight.

So when the friend eventually said something about it, her husband sided with the friend, which started an argument.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for taking my wife’s friends side over hers?

My wife is 8 months pregnant.

Her best friend got married a month ago on the other end of the country and we were unable to attend because travel isn’t easy at 7 months pregnant.

My wife had her baby shower the following weekend. Her friend was unable to attend as well because she had planned a honeymoon right after the wedding.

The two were both upset about the mismatch in schedules, but then came some drama over gifts.

Since she couldn’t attend, she sent my wife a generous gift.

Today my wife’s friend expressed feelings over my wife not sending her a wedding gift or card to celebrate her marriage.

Had she not been pregnant we had planned to attend the wedding.

His wife immediately dismissed it, but he tells her she’s not considering every angle.

My wife took this message from her friend as petty and attention seeking.

I told my wife that she is in the wrong and should have sent a gift or card to help her friend celebrate her marriage.

Now my wife says I’m the AH for taking her friend’s side over hers.

AITA?

Sounds like this wife needs a refresher lesson on etiquette.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user sees both sides in this conflict.

This user thinks this husband was totally within his rights here.

His wife clearly ignored common courtesy here.

It’s time for his wife to step up and face her own choices.

Pregnancy is hard. Nobody’s minimizing that. But ordering a gift online takes five minutes and doesn’t require standing up, traveling, or leaving the house.

The wife had a valid reason for not attending the wedding, but what she didn’t have was a valid reason for not acknowledging it at all.

The husband saw this clearly because the math is simple: one person showed up with a gift despite being on her honeymoon, and the other person showed up with nothing despite having weeks to send a card.

Spouses are supposed to hold each other accountable, not just agree with each other all the time.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose in-laws are shocked and dismayed when she finally chooses to spend time with her own mother instead.