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Confronting parents about how they treat their children can be very difficult because you don’t want to make things worse.

What would you do if you saw that your cousin’s parents treated her poorly and clearly favored her younger brother?

That is what the young woman in this story has noticed, so she wants to confront her aunt and uncle about it, but does not want to make things worse or cause problems.

I think that she needs to be very careful with how she handles this, but her cousin does need someone on her side. Read through the full story below and see how you think she should handle it.

WIBTA if I called my cousins parents bad parents?

I (F18) am quite worried about my cousin (F11).

Every child is different and needs their own type of support.

She was born prematurely and therefore has had some issues with performing at school to the degree where she had to repeat a class because her teacher did not think she was mature enough to proceed.

She has a brother who is four years younger than her. As expected, he is right now really enjoying reading and fighting with his big sister.

Little brothers can be annoying, that’s for sure.

The parents (my uncle and his wife) are, in my opinion, not really handling the situation very well. Everytime I Skype with my cousin (we live in separate countries and have done so all our lives) and her brother bugs her by pulling her hair or annoying her in other ways.

I always hear the parents telling my cousin to stop screaming and to come down. This also happens when I am there on visits.

It does seem like these parents have a clear ‘favorite’ child.

Everytime something happens that results in the kids raising their voices, arguments, or excitement, 8 out of 10 times the parents tell my cousin to quiet down and don’t tell the brother off.

She is always to blaim. I love both my cousins equally, so it is not that I want the little brother to be punished all the time, I just want the parents to realise that when he is pulling her hair, maybe it is not my cousin that should be told off, but him.

Special needs children require extra patience, and he isn’t giving it.

She is a child that needs more attention and patience, and my uncle is not particularly patient.

I see him snap very often when she is around, like taking her school books and throwing them on the table very harshly when she doesn’t get the right answer after two times or start to aggressively smack things around like her cutlery when she doesn’t eat.

Comments like this are completely out of line.

I do realise that it can be frustrating, especially if you are not a very patient person, but I really hoped he’d try harder, especially now that she is starting to reach an age where she will be very sensitive.

She once did not want to go with my uncle and her brother to play football where my uncle then proceeded to jokingly say that she’d become fat. I understand that he said this as a joke, but she did not appear to enjoy it and neither did I.

Moving closer will be great for her niece.

I am genuinely scared that she will become depressed or just be mentally damaged from this for the rest of her life if this continues and I plan to go to university in the city where they live, partly to start being there for her more and let her know that if her home becomes too much, she can come to me.

So now to my question: Would I be in the wrong if I told my uncle and his wife I wish that they stopped favoring the little brother over his big sister and maybe try to be a little more patient with her?

WIBTA?

She will have to be very careful with how she talks to them in order to avoid getting alienated from the family, but she should say something. Maybe even talk to her own parents about how to approach this issue.

Read on to see what the people in the comments recommend in this delicate situation.

This commenter makes a really good point.

Here is someone who says she should not confront them.

This commenter thinks she could cause further problems.

It is possible that confronting them would make it worse.

She needs to tread very carefully in this situation. It is very possible that she could make it worse if she hurts or embarrasses her aunt and uncle.

The more important thing would be to make sure that she is always there for her cousin and offers her the support that she may need.