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Getting married is an exciting time in anyone’s life – though that doesn’t necessarily mean that things will be easy.
One of the hardest things to really nail down is the guest list. Of course, you are subject to the space constraints of the venue, as well as your own budget limitations. So when you know how many guests you actually can invite, you then have to figure out how many guests you really want to invite.
Of course, this is where things get complicated. You may have your own opinions on whether your dad’s half cousin twice removed and her new boyfriend are invited, but your mom might thing something totally different. Similarly you may only want to have a small wedding, but then find out that your future spouse can’t not invite fifty of their very closest friends.
It’s a balancing act, and one that requires a lot of communication and compromises to get right.
The woman in this story is excited to attend the wedding of a woman she’s been friends with for most of her thirty plus years on earth. However, her mom has a lot of attitude about a certain omission from the guest list.
Read on to find out why.
AITA for going to a close friend’s wedding even though my sister was intentionally excluded?
I’m in my thirties and am part of a big, tight-knit friend group that all went to school together.
We’ve been close for decades and have known each other since school.
Because of this, my sister (also thirties) shares the exact same friend group.
But a couple of years ago, my sister and one of our mutual friends (who is now getting married) got into a massive argument that was genuinely so petty and unnecessary in my opinion.
Let’s see what led to the sister and the bride-to-be falling out.
The friend who is getting married had originally created a group chat for our core friend group so we could all keep each other updated and organize catch-ups, gatherings, dinners, or trips to the park, etc. It was basically the main base for our whole group to stay in touch.
Then, my sister added two other people to this group chat. These two people were technically known a little bit to our core friend group, but they were definitely more my sister’s personal friends.
The friend who created the chat felt really uncomfortable with this because she didn’t actually know them. This spiralled into a huge blow-up where they called each other really nasty names and completely stopped speaking.
I chose to stay out of it, and maintained my close, independent friendship with the bride.
But now the wedding is coming around, things are getting complicated.
She is getting married soon, and because of their falling out, my sister was not invited. I was invited, and I accepted because she has been my good friend since childhood and I don’t want to miss her big day over a years-old argument that wasn’t mine.
Here is the thing: My sister honestly does not seem to care. She has no interest in going and isn’t mad at me for attending (or at the very least, hasn’t told me).
My mother, on the other hand, is losing her mind. She is calling me a “traitor,” telling me I have “no integrity,” and accusing me of having zero family loyalty because I’m not refusing to go in solidarity with my sister.
She is also accusing my friend of bullying my sister by not inviting her to any events she is hosting.
Yikes! Read on to find out how this woman is feeling about all of this.
They are two grown adults in their thirties. They had a silly disagreement, handled it poorly, and parted ways, and have not spoken about it since.
I feel like I can be loyal to my family while still acknowledging that my sister is a grown woman who can handle her own social life, especially since she isn’t even upset with me.
But my mom has me feeling incredibly guilty and torn, to the point I am considering not going. Am I being a traitor here?
AITA?
This woman’s mom has no idea what she’s talking about.
There is no way that this woman should be missing her close friend’s wedding, all because of a falling out that had nothing to do with her.
She’s not taking sides, she’s just maintaining her place in both of her lives, and mom needs to stop meddling.
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Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.
Basically the whole internet seemed to agree that she was doing nothing wrong by going to the wedding.
While others wondered why on earth her mother was getting so involved.
Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that this was not the way you treat your adult kids.
It’s great that, while their friendship ended, this woman’s friend and sister haven’t seemed to have any problem with her maintaining strong relationships with both of them. After all, a person’s other relationships don’t necessarily need to impact the friendship that you share with them. So it makes sense to everyone involved that her friend wouldn’t invite her sister to the wedding – because why would she?
The sister is, at the same time, great for not creating any drama about this wedding that she’s not invited to, and wouldn’t want to attend anyway, even if she were. But because she’s a reasonable human being, of course she has no issue with her sister attending. But the very fact that their mother is trying to stir things up is disturbing. No one has a problem but her – and the level of interest she’s taking in her adult daughters’ friendships is unhealthy, just creating drama where there isn’t any.
Mom needs to chill out.
