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Graduation is supposed to be a day spent celebrating with the people who’ve supported you along the way. But deciding who belongs in those milestone photos can become complicated when family relationships are anything but happy.

This high school senior says her relationship with her stepmother changed dramatically after she married OP’s father. According to OP, the woman who once seemed kind began making cruel comments about her weight during the wedding planning process and has continued belittling her ever since. She also claims her stepmother frequently creates conflict within the family, while her stepbrother has little interest in her life beyond staying home playing video games.

With graduation approaching, OP says she’d rather not include either of them in one of the biggest moments of her life, especially when they rarely show genuine interest in supporting her.

WIBTA if I don’t want to take graduation pics with my stepmom and her son

I know this might sound rude, but I have a reason. (Almost 18f btw)

The stepmom in question was super nice prior to getting married to my dad.

As soon as the wedding planning started, her true colors began to bleed through a bit (such as her first instinct of calling me fat), and she dropped the act completely after they got married.

Wow, that’s rough.

She frequently calls me fat (even though I’m actually just a bit below average for my height and age), generally treats me like trash, and makes us both miserable. She even instigates with me and other members of my family, such as my aunts.

I’ve been being respectful and polite to her, I never get into verbal fights with her regardless of how much she actively tries to get me to snap. Her son is similar, but he’s also different in a few ways.

He’s what you’d consider your stereotypical incel- doesn’t shower, also is on discord and his Xbox, even screams and yells slurs for no reason.

Oh boy…

In a few months, senior year starts for me.

They never take interest in my school events unless my dad is going, then my stepmom will go too and my step brother will stay at home.

Honestly, with how they’re treating me and with how my dad has been seriously considering a divorce, I’d really rather not take pictures with them.

Not surprisingly so.

It may be petty, it may be mean, but I’d rather not have pictures with her at what’s supposed to be a big day, especially since she has a long running tendency to make literally everything about her.

I asked my friend, she told me to take pictures with them, but just to make sure to take pictures with my other family more.

What do you guys think?

Reddit largely leaned NTA, with many commenters saying graduation photos are meant to capture memories with the people who made the milestone meaningful, not people who made the journey harder. Readers pointed out that OP isn’t refusing to attend the ceremony or causing a public scene; she’s simply questioning whether she wants permanent keepsakes featuring someone who has repeatedly insulted and disrespected her.

That said, many also encouraged OP to think strategically. Several suggested taking a quick, polite photo if it would avoid unnecessary family drama—especially if her father is present—then focusing the rest of her time on pictures with the people she genuinely wants to remember. Others felt that if her father is seriously considering divorce, forcing sentimental family photos now may feel even less authentic in hindsight.

The general consensus was that OP shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting her graduation memories to reflect the people who supported her. After years of being called names and treated poorly, she’s not obligated to pretend everything is perfect for the sake of a photograph.

This person says to say it straight.

This person has a different suggestion.

And this person says it’s OPs choice, period.

A graduation photo lasts forever, and it’s okay to want the people in it to be the ones who actually made you feel proud to get there.