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When you go through something painful or difficult in life, it is helpful when family is there to lean on.

What would you do if your brother-in-law wasn’t there for you when you experienced a miscarriage, but then a year later, he was upset because you weren’t there for him after an injury?

That is what the young couple in this story has experienced, and they don’t think that they owe it to their in-laws to have a close relationship with them after what they did.

Personally, I think they are holding onto a grudge in an unhealthy way. Read through the details below and see if you agree.

AITA Brother in law mad because we didn’t acknowledge his injury

Backstory to the title: In 2020, I had a miscarriage and told my family and my husbands family.

It is hard to know how to react to these situations.

My brother in law and his wife didn’t really acknowledge it (which is fine by me) but 1 month later they came to visit us with the rest of my husbands family (other unmarried brother and parents).

While there, they pulled us aside to ask if we could help them conceal his wife’s 7 week pregnancy (because she drinks a lot so we had to pretend to pour her drinks).

How could they know how long they needed to be extra sensitive?

We were still reeling from the miscarriage and I felt it was totally inappropriate for them to use us, rather than the other brother to help with this.

When I told them how unfair this was to us (I was happy for them but asked them to be a little more considerate of our situation) they gave the typical “oh you’ll get pregnant again, don’t make such a big deal of it” response.

They weren’t trying to be cruel.

It felt very off putting. It took us another year to get pregnant again. I had been close with them, but because of their behavior we drifted apart.

I no longer trust them or consider them to be safe people in my life. We’re fine, but the relationship will never be what it was. Same goes with my husband.

Holding a grudge like this is not a good thing to do.

We don’t really talk much about it but it’s clear – he doesn’t keep in close contact with his brother anymore and actually harbors a lot of resentment toward his wife.

Too much to type about her – but she’s kind of unknowingly a jerk, which had never bothered me until the miscarriage/pregnancy announcement incident.

Well, they aren’t obligated to be close to them.

Fast forward to several weeks ago. My brother in law fell off a ladder 12 feet. He separated his shoulder and broke a rib but otherwise was fine.

We heard about it from my mother in law. We didn’t call to check on him right away (we called 4 days later) – we just don’t have that relationship anymore.

It isn’t a competition.

This wasn’t an intentional snub, we knew he was ok and really not seriously injured. Then, We heard through the grapevine that he’s really mad at us for not calling right away.

Riddle me this, am I wrong for thinking he’s getting a taste of his own medicine?

This is a very unhealthy way to look at things.

He showed ZERO empathy for our situation, didn’t check on us, and chose to give us top secret info about their pregnancy when we were still very hurt (and on a Christmas vacation, no less).

Well, he’s getting the same level of care and concern from us – THIS WAS NOT INTENTIONAL, not in retaliation, this is just how important that relationship is to us – and he’s mad?

AITA?

They aren’t obligated to be close to them or even call and check up on him, but the way she seems to be thinking about this is not healthy at all.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this sad situation.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, though.

Well, this would be funny.

People aren’t obligated to have a relationship with anyone they don’t want to.

This seems a bit harsh.

This person says the brother-in-law thinks he is the main character in the world.

This is no way to heal a damaged relationship. Of course, if they don’t want to heal the relationship, that is completely up to them.

I hope they aren’t surprised, however, when the people they are pushing away end up walking out of their lives.