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Big life decisions can feel different once they become real.

The following story involves a man who planned to move in with his best friend after graduation.

But after reviewing his finances and future plans, he realized staying at home would make more sense.

So when he told his friend that he had changed his mind, his friend felt let down and upset.

Read the full story below for all the details.

AITAH for Backing out of Apartment With Friend

I (23M) graduated from college last year.

One of my best friends (22M), who we will call Jake, just graduated.

He was one class year below me in school. We do a ton together.

For the past year, we have talked about getting an apartment together.

This would happen if he got a job close by.

This man planned to get an apartment with Jake

I made it seem like if the circumstances worked out, I would get an apartment with him.

I genuinely thought I would. I have spent the last year living at home.

I have been saving up money in my current job.

He did not have a job offer until the day of graduation.

He turned down an apartment offer from another friend.

Another friend asked me a month or so before this if I wanted to move in.

A spot had opened up in their house. I turned it down.

I said I wanted to see if Jake got a job close by first so it would be more convenient location-wise.

Jake at the time said I should move in with that friend.

Because he did not even know where he would end up getting a job.

It was a big wild card.

He and Jake began looking for apartments.

After Jake got the job offer nearby 2 weeks ago, I was excited.

I began sending apartment options I was researching.

We toured one earlier this week that we liked.

However, as I crunch the numbers, I started to think more about it.

It is now a reality how much I would be paying a year. It just does not make any financial sense.

He was planning on going back to school.

I only live 30 minutes from work now. I live with my parents for free.

I do not have a toxic home situation. I also want to go back to school.

I will almost certainly have to get an apartment for that.

It will not be close by. It makes more sense to save my money for that.

I would actually need an apartment then.

Now, he feels like the cons outweigh the pros.

However, I knew all of this (that I wanted to go back to school) this whole year.

I still thought I genuinely wanted to move out.

I wanted to get some freedom and space, especially because I have a girlfriend.

Now that I face it, the cons outweigh the pros.

Jake got mad at him and felt like he was led on.

I told Jake this. He was annoyed. He said he was led on and excited.

He said I should not have made it seem like I would move in with him if I was not sure.

If it changes anything, Jake does not have a bad home situation.

He lives 20 minutes from his workplace.

He just wants to move out for the same reasons I do. AITA?

Plans change, and that’s okay. But some people aren’t flexible enough to adjust to new plans.

OP didn’t mean to mislead his friend, but it’s understandable why Jake felt “betrayed” and was led on.

I guess before you commit to something as big as moving in with a friend, you really have to ensure that your plans are solid and permanent.

Let’s find out what others have to say about this.

This person agrees that OP led Jake on.

Here’s an honest opinion from this one.

Another similar thought.

People are calling him the jerk.

Finally, this one shares their personal thoughts.

Changing your mind isn’t the same as betraying someone.