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Building a life with someone requires two people rowing in the same direction, even if one of them is rowing a little slower for legitimate reasons.

One woman agreed to pick up more of the slack when her friend was diagnosed with narcolepsy. She really cared about this friend, so she figured it was the least she could do.

She expected things to get better with time, but the gap between their efforts only widened. Suddenly, she was responsible for 99% of all their household tasks while her disabled friend constantly went out for new tattoos and piercings.

Soon she started to wonder if she’d outgrown the friendship entirely.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for leaving a disabled friend behind?

We are both in our mid-20s, and for years our plan was to build a career and a life together by continuously working hard and studying.

Neither of us wants children, so our shared goal was to eventually live together while pursuing careers we genuinely love.

She describes a bit more about her friend’s background.

My friend comes from a family with disabilities, and over the past year signs of their own condition began to appear.

They were diagnosed with narcolepsy and have also had to help care for their family.

So while her friend was caregiving, a lot of their other responsibilities fell onto her.

For a long time, I didn’t mind carrying more of the workload while they waited to receive the right medication and government benefits.

However, it has started to feel like this arrangement isn’t temporary anymore, but that the balance between us is permanently shifting.

She’s not exactly loving how their dynamic is shaping up.

Her family often calls her lazy for struggling to complete basic household tasks, and my friend has jokingly said that I should just “adopt” them because I’m becoming more “successful.”

I try to be understanding of their condition, but even simple responsibilities they’re expected to handle at home are often met with excuses.

At the same time, they seem to have the time and energy to get new tattoos or piercings, which they happily share with me.

Now she’s reconsidering if the two are really compatible as friends.

I’m finding myself wondering whether it’s wrong to consider pursuing this journey on my own instead of continuing to wait.

I care about them and understand that narcolepsy can be genuinely disabling, but I’m beginning to question whether our long-term goals and expectations are still compatible.

AITA?

She’s been carrying far too much for far too long.

What did Reddit make of this dilemma?

It’s important to really think this dynamic through before making any big decisions.

An honest conversation, although difficult, is still necessary.

She owes her friend at least one chance to shape up.

Two things can be true at once.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a grandson who is tired of driving 5 hours one way to work on his grandparent’s investment property for free.

A year is a long time to wait for “temporary” to actually be temporary.

This woman gave her friend grace, she adjusted expectations, and she carried far more than her share while genuinely believing it was a phase tied to medication and benefits catching up.

What she got instead was a permanent shift dressed up as a “phase.”

Wanting out of this unfair dynamic is only natural, but how she goes about it matters.

She’s already given her friend a lot, but she still owes her one last honest conversation.