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Imagine deciding to move in with your boyfriend, who lives in another country, but the only way you could afford to do that is if he finishes building the house that the two of you could live in together. What would you do if weeks were ticking by and no construction work was getting done? Would you trust that your boyfriend has it under control, or would you feel stressed out?

The woman in this story is really stressed out. She has a specific deadline by which she would need the house to be ready so she could move in and start looking for a job. If her house isn’t ready, she won’t have anywhere to live, and if she moves in later, it won’t be a good time to look for a job.

Her boyfriend doesn’t seem concerned about it at all, but now he’s mad at her about a text she sent.

Keep reading for all the details and to decide who you think messed up here.

AITA for being worried about our house construction timeline and telling my friend about it?

I’ve lived/worked in a developing country for 3 years and have been with my boyfriend for ~1.5.

My contract in here is up a bit unexpectedly, so I’ve had to make the decision of going back to the US or staying here with him.

We talked and decided for me to stay!

But there are a few things that have to happen first.

The only realistic option is for him to finish building his house and to move in together (for reasons I won’t get into renting or crashing somewhere else isn’t an option).

We’re both really excited.

While it’s being built, I am finishing up my work here and then going back home for a bit to help my parents move.

After that I can’t live with them and don’t have anything else to do and so I have a fairly specific timeframe.

If the timeline doesn’t work, she won’t be able to find a job.

There were originally 6 months when the decision was made and my return and he calculates that the work will take 3-4 months.

When we made this decision I was clear that I wanted to move back here with him, but if the house couldn’t be ready in 6 months I was going to have to look for jobs and move somewhere else for at least a year.

In my field there is a specific time of year to find jobs and if our plan falls through I’ll have missed it.

She’s worried it’s not going to be done in time.

It has been 6 weeks since the decision has been made and he still doesn’t have anyone lined up to do the crucial first step of the construction.

It’s mostly been for reasons outside of his control, but I am incredibly worried and frustrated.

We disagree about the validity of my anxiety.

I think her concerns sound pretty valid.

My point is that in my 3 years here I have seen countless projects, including some of his, take longer than expected, and there are so many things that cause delays here.

He says there’s still enough time, feels like I don’t have faith in him, and that I’m worrying too much.

I literally will not have anywhere to live.

I am moving back to a developing country for our relationship and if the damn house isn’t ready then I am going to really regret my decision.

Yes, we technically still have time but if it’s going to take weeks to plan/find someone/get a second opinion/make the budget/etc for each step of the process, then it won’t be ready on time.

A text she sent only made her boyfriend more upset.

The other day I was texting with a friend about our plans. I expressed my worries about it not being done giving examples of plausible possible delays. I stayed away from criticizing my BF because I know he’s trying and friend is quick to judge.

Later, talking to my BF about these same things, I showed him the text I sent because it expressed really well the specific worries I have. Sometimes I can get too emotional and not layout a clear logical argument of all the things that could go wrong so I liked the idea of showing him a calmly written message.

He was furious that I had sent the message to my friend and made passive aggressive comments about how I like to criticize him to my friends.

So, AITA for being worried about the construction timeline even though he says we’re fine? And am AITA for talking to my friend about it?

I can kind of see why her boyfriend is upset. It’s like she was talking about him behind his back. But I can also see why she’s stressed out. She won’t have anywhere to live if the house isn’t ready. That’s a big problem!

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this situation.

This person suggests rethinking her plans for the next year.

Another person isn’t sure they’re compatible.

I agree with the suggestion to find another job and live somewhere else for the next year. Then he has plenty of time to build the house, and if they still want to move in together after that, great. If not, then it still worked out for the best.

If their relationship is meant to be, they can move in together next year.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who stirred up family drama by finally choosing her own mom over her in-laws.